The Getaway
by schillingklaus
Summary: Megan knows that mom loves Drake much more than her, hence she runs away, looking for her dad.


**The Getaway**

* * *

**Klaus Schilling**

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**Introduction**

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:

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******Rating**:

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PG 13

******Disclaimer**:

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iDont Own _The iCarly Show_ or any of the used or alluded shows or lyrics. The shows are the works of Dan Schneider and his colleagues who work for Nickelodeon. The story is not made for other than non-profit usage.

******Fandoms**:

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_Drake & Josh_, _Zoey 101_, _The iCarly Show_

******Genres**:

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Melodrama, Fluff, Friends, Family

******People**:

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Megan Parker / Dustin Brooks, Drake Parker / Lola Martinez, Joshuah Nichols / Quinn Pensky, Eric Blonowitz / Stacey Dillsen, Craig Ramirez / Zoey Brooks, and many many more

******Summary**:

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Megan thinks that her dumb mom likes Drake more, and she runs away, looking ultimately for her real dad.

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**Contents**

* * *

Introduction

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Table of Contents

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Chapter 1 Flight Ad Midnight

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Chapter 2 Blind Student

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Chapter 3 A Day In Ashley's Dorm

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Chapter 4 Key Question

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Chapter 5 Mess With Boobert

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Chapter 6 Melanie Puckett

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Chapter 7 Double-Edged Sword

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Chapter 8 Drake's Visit

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Chapter 9 Another Webcast

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Chapter 10 Good-Bye, Dustin!

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Chapter 11 Oh Mandy

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Chapter 12 Melissa Robinson

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Chapter 13 Acting As Carly

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Chapter 14 Living With Nevel

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Chapter 15 News From Dad

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Chapter 16 Bushwell Plaza

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Chapter 17 Caught

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Chapter 18 Family Reunion

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Chapter 19 Back To PCA

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Chapter 20 On The Campus Again

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Chapter 21 Seeing Dustin Again

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Chapter 22 Before Prom

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Chapter 23 The Prom Night

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Chapter 24 Conclusions

* * *

**Chapter 1 Flight Ad Midnight**

* * *

My name is Megan Parker.

I live in Belleview, San Diego County, California, if you insist in calling that a life.

I was particularly annoyed by my elder brother Drake, and our step-brother Josh, they were totally worthless guys, annoying boobs through and through.

* * *

I was really upset.

It was Drake's eighteenth birthday, and he had enjoyed the greatest party ever.

His gifts included a new car that he did not have to share any longer with Josh.

Then he received 50,000 bucks and a brand new rock e-guitar.

I had never obtained anything nearly as great as that.

My birthday parties had always been totally lame and disappointing.

I had seen it coming, and now the nightmare was true.

This was no longer bearable.

The moon was on its bright side.

I had thought of everything. Tonight I was going to get away.[1:1] Where to, I could not say. I hoped to find my biological father, and I knew that he was in the Air Force or Navy, and his family was from Seattle, so I probably had quite a few relatives left in the state of Washington. I couldn't make it there without helpful friends, so I needed to look for some trustworthy people. I had snuck out on the Parkers' home through the roof's window. I crawled across the dew-covered meadow, and climbed carefully the somewhat slippery oaken ladder leading up to the treehouse of neighbourhood boy Robert Carmichael[1:2] . I knocked carefully at the wooden door, avoiding to make too much noise which would have woken Drake or the neighbours. _Fortunately, Robbie's uncle had repaired that house, once upon a time. The boobs had messed it up completely. They were so totally worthless and disgusting._

Robbie yawned heartily. He looked through some periscopal peephole which a friend from his school had invented. 'Megan?' He was consternated. _What did she want at that time?_ Nevertheless, he opened the door for me, his mysterious neighbourhood girl. 'What do you need at midnight? I'm not in the mood for making out!' He trembled like an aspen tree.

I chuckled mischievously. 'Sorry, neither am I!' I sighed.

We had once made out in order to fool Drake, but this had been a joke.

'I need to get away from home! I can't stand it anymore!'

Robbie shrugged. 'Drake is such a jerk!'

I nodded. 'But mom was worse.' I told Robbie about the birthday party.

Robbie wondered what he could do.

I sighed. 'Tomorrow, your mom takes you to your boarding school near Santa Monica?'

Robbie nodded. 'Yeah, the Pacific Coast Academy.'

I smiled. 'OK, may I hide at your school for a few days before I find a better place?' I have already heard a few things about that boarding school. _Unfortunately, Drake had once given a concert over there_[_1:3_]_ , this had been like four years ago. Maybe most of the students that had cheered for him had graduated by now? That would have been nice, but I couldn't help recognising that Drake must have had accumulated many new friends at that school, especially female ones. He was such a disgusting womaniser. Whatever, at a school like this, with pupils from all over the country, it was not unlikely to find someone from Seattle, and, with a trifle of good luck, that was the way leading me to my father or other relatives I had certainly got in the state of Washington._

Robbie choked. _That was going to be very exciting and thrilling, and not quite without peril. The boarding school had probably strict rules against hiding people that were not registered, no, not just probably, most definitely so, just about as strict as the rules against keeping pets. Yet, a few smart pupils had alway found ways around stupid rules, so, why not?_ 'You want to hide in mom's car?'

I nodded.

* * *

Sun came up from the mountain braes.

Mrs. Carmichael took Robbie's suitcase to her car. She opened the fairly huge cargo space. "Robbie, what's that bundle of lumps?"

'Oh ... it's for my biology project!' Robbie sighed. 'It's very fragile, whence you need to handle it with care! And it needs some fresh air, so you can't stuff it into the last corner.'

Mrs. Carmichael agreed, and she was thitherfrom sufficiently careful.

Robbie's caution notwithstanding, it was very sticky in there, and I had to force myself to remain quiet.

Finally, the car's engines howled, and we were off to Santa Monica.

* * *

**Chapter 2 Blind Student**

* * *

Robbie was lucky when he had disposed with the bundle I was hiding in. He had rolled me under his bed. Then he walked away.

I was worried. I wanted to breathe fresh air, not rot away in the cotton wrapper.

The door to Robbie's dorm opened, and his roomie Dustin Brooks entered the dorm.'Scooter[2:1]?'

I grumbled noisily. I didn't know yet much about Dustin, except that he was Robbie's room-mate, and apparently an OK guy.

Dustin shrugged. _What had Robbie been hiding under his bed?_ He was deadly curious. Hence he grabbed the bundle and pulled it from under the bed. Thereupon, he started opening the lump of cotton and strings. He screamed like a fury when he noticed that I had been hiding in the parcel.

I was equally flabbergasted, and squealed insanely. Then I slipped back under the bed because we heard footsteps approaching from beyond the door.

Dustin opened the door carefully, and the saw the dorm adviser.

'Hey! I've heard some scream ...' wondered the dorm guard.

'Oh, that ...' Dustin shrugged. 'I've been practising for a theatre play where I have to scream.' Fortunately, Dustin had remembered that Lola Martinez, his sister Zoey's best friend and aspiring Hollywood star, had once tried out for a role where she had to scream insanely[2:2] .

'OK!' The dorm guy shrugged. 'It's just my duty to check that everything is OK! '

"It is!" Dustin grinned in a cunning manner.

The dorm guard moved along.

Dustin closed the door and went back to me. 'He's gone!'

I sighed. 'OK, you are?' I wanted to be sure that it was whom I thought him to be.

'Dustin Brooks!' Dustin smiled. 'But who are you, and what are you doing here?'

I explained the situation. 'Oh, my name is Megan Parker.'

'OK.' Dustin shrugged. 'Wait, you've got a brother named Drake?'

I nodded. 'A disgusting jerk and noisemaker ...'

'Drake Parker?' Dustin was astonished. 'That Drake? The biggests rock star of Southern California?'

I nodded.

Dustin sighed. 'Many girls here have got the hots for Drake, and the boys envy him, and want to be like him.'

I shuddered with disgust.

'But if you say that he's such a jerk, I believe you.' Dustin moaned. 'Really, I know one big jerk here at his school, Logan, son of the infamous Hollywood pope Malcolm Reese. He has always had many girls, and I wanted to be like him, and asked him to show me[2:3] , but I've figured that this way was so wrong. He treats girls like dirt. Fortunatley, one of them, Tracy Baldwin, pushed him into the fountain.' Dustin grinned. 'Tracy's little sister Sandy had been my date for a few weeks.'

I smiled. 'Cool! Yeah, that pretty much sums up Drake, too. He has another girl every other week, and he treats them like junk.' _The name Baldwin rang a bell. There was a Katie_[_2:4_]_ Baldwin in my classes. _

Dustin told me that he was sort of Loga's errand boy. He was treated badly, but he needed to earn some money.

'Logan will not get through with that!' I smiled. Then I told him about my plans to search for relatives in the state of Washington.

Dustin knew of a student from Seattle. 'Her name is Quinndelyn Pensky, she's my sister's roomie.'

I smiled.

But there was a hitch.

Zoey was so buttoned up, she would have hardly refrain from informing Dean Rivers, who was the school's headmaster, or, worse, Drake, as she was a fan of his band.

For all ends and purposes, Dustin was forced to keep my presence secret from Zoey. 'I'd like to keep you in this room, but you might be safer in the girls' dormitory halls. Their dorm ad, Coco Wexler, is probably way too dumb to tell you from legitimate inhabitants.'

I grinned. 'OK, but which girl would let me share her dorm?'

Dustin scratched his head. 'Do you know actress Ashley Blake[2:5]? '

I smiled. 'Of course! We've been sort of friends when she visited the cinema in my hometown for a première party.'

Dustin chuckled. 'Cool! Then she will certainly share her dorm with you. She's very arrogant and lunatic, hard to bear, so her official roomies fled into other dorms.'

I nodded solemnly. 'The one ad only Ashley Blake! I haven't even known that she lives here.'

Dustin shrugged. 'Well, she followed her brother Vince, the captain of our football team, before he got expelled for cheating and bullying[2:6] . She isn't over that, so she became even more grumpy.'

Ashley scared me a bit, but it seemed to be my best way to hide for a few times, until I found a way to Seattle.

Dustin took his cellular phone, trying to contact Ashley.

* * *

I entered Ashley's dormitory. _Finally!_

It wasn't easy for Dustin and Robby to contact Ashley.

The little diva refused to talk about anyone without prior application.

I was lucky because Ashley was not on a shooting event. I hoped that she was going to lend me a few girls' things.

As nice as Dustin had been, boys don't use to store those items in their daily toilet articles.

Ashley grinned. 'Nice to see you!' She accepted me, but it was not a really friendly welcome. _Dustin had been right, she missed Vince a lot._

As opposed to Ashley's example, I was sure that I was never going to miss Drake.

Ashley assigned the bottom bunk bed to me. Also, she expected me to do some slave works for her.

Before leaving us alone, Dustin promised to provide me regularly with food. He was incredibly sweet, and I adored how he had learnt from the bad example of Logan Reese to treat girls appropriately. He was so not a boob.

If Ashley hadn't been sort of a friend, she would have scared me to no end.

But I had to go through this. I fell asleep early, for apparent reasons. _Some exciting days at this school were in front of me!_

* * *

**Chapter 3 A Day In Ashley's Dorm**

* * *

I woke up ere the rise of sun.

Ashley grumbled. 'I told you to wake me up at 6.45, no earlier, no later!'

I shuddered. 'OK!' I yawned. _Ashley was not easy to bear._ Then I had to undust Ashley's clothes, and to polish her mirror.

Ashley grinned when she gazed into the mirror. 'Mirror, oh mirror, in my hand, who's the greatest beauty all over this land?' She smiled.

I shrugged. I had dreamt about meeting dad, and it was going to be wonderful. Alas, I had every reason to doubt that it was going to be that easy.

Ashley went to the cafeteria. More precisely, she called one of her slave girls who was going to take her there in a sort of a chariot, like those rikshas you see in the streets in many of those Indian and Chinese movies.

I had pondered whether to go to places like that or not. _On the one hand, most pupils would not take note of one new face among some thousand pupils. On the other hand, if I might easily get lost, and pupils who help me might easily provoke the attention of their friends who wonder why they talk to someone hitherto unbeknownst. For that reason, Dustin could not lead me across the campus. It would be deadly if his elder sister or her friends saw us together!_ I was up to following Dustin secretly around, in a way that did not make others think of a connection between us. Still, I had no keys for my dorm, erm, Ashley's. I would have liked to call my best friend Janie[3:1] with my cellular phone, but I had left it back in San Diego, because I knew that it was possible to locate me using its GPS module, or so have I learned from Eric Blonowitz, a very nerdy and freaky friend of Drake and Josh. _As annoying as his nerdy demeanour appeared to me, he knew a lot, and I secretly admired his competence._

All of a sudden, there was someone knocking at the door.

In hearing the password 'boobicide', I knew that it was Dustin, and I opened the door.

Dustin brought me a few things from the cafeteria. 'I had to hurry up. I'm already late for homeroom, fortunately homeroom class is here optional for the boarding students. But I usually attend, so other pupils might turn suspicious.'

I nodded solemnly.

Dustin also remarked that he was going to Sushi Rox, the Japanese bar on campus, for supper. 'Do you like sushi?'

I nodded.

Dustin promised to get some for me.

I also wondered whether a Japanese bar had Japanese candy. I loved that stuff[3:2]

Dusrin shrugged. 'I've heard so, but it's probably more expensive than gummi worms. I'd love to try, but I can't spend too much money.'

I sighed, but I nodded with understanding.

And Dustin was gone again.

I wondered what my people in San Diego were doing. _Drake was probably happy about my absense, and he was not caring at all. Mom was totally upset, and Josh was creeping up her butthole, trying to help her looking for me. He was probably asking my friends, at least those he knew, such as Janie, Denise_[_3:3_]_ , Tyler_[_3:4_]_, and so on. _

Well, so far, none of them knew about my getaway.

I would have liked to borrow Dustin's cellular phone to call them, but that would have made us trackable, as well.

Janie might have helped Josh to find me. She was not a ruthless traitor, but if Josh made her think that he was worried, she would become weak, as she had got some respect for Josh. _Grrrrr!_

* * *

It was evening.

Dustin showed up, with two portions of California rolls, and a bad with Japanese candy. He sighed. 'Kazu gets more of that stuff next Friday.'

I smiled. _Maybe I found a lift to Seattle by then? But that was not so likely._

The California rolls were delicious. 'Wow, the best ones, ever!'

We shared the bag of candy.

But, really, Dustin was my favourite candy by now.

I smiled. _But ... what if he had already got a girlfriend, and he had just been super nice because he pitied me? Thinking about Corey was not pleasant. That jerk had cheated on me with some Monica, and vice versa. I better got this straight ..._ 'Have you already got a girlfriend?' I blushed.

Dustin sighed. 'I had bead experiences with my first one, her name is Trisha Kirby. She was a really bad girl who cheated on me with one of my sisters' best friends, Chase Matthews.' He shuddered. 'Ever since I'm a bit more careful, especially as the thing with Sandy didn't last forever, probably because of the memories of Trisha, and because I saw that most guys treat their girlfriends like dirt, as best seen in the case of mentioned Logan.' He sobbed. Then he tortured himself into talking about Trisha. 'She was a really loose tomboy, and Zoey was strictly against us.'

_Poor Dustin. Yeah, we both had made those very similar bad experiences, so maybe that's why we had come to understood us so well now._ 'Sorry! I know what you mean.' I told him more about Corey. 'And, just and you with Trisha, I just tried to be cool, and to taunt Drake and Josh.'

Ashley butted in. 'Eh! Don't make out in my absence!'

Her voice was demanding.

But we hadn't even made out, just hugged briefly.

I came to wonder about that Trisha. _Her fatal affair with Dustin had been already two years back, and Trisha, or, as she called herself by now, Melanie, had become a rather girl cheerleader girl._

Dustin walked away. 'See you tomorrow!'

I sighed, and waved at him.

Ashley glared grimly at me.

Bearing Ashley was not easy, but until we had found a way to continue, this was my only chance.

* * *

**Chapter 4 Key Question**

* * *

The next morning, I was careful enough to wake up Ashley exactly when desired.

I decided to stay in Ashley's dorm when she went to breakfast, as I was trying to figure what to do with the lock of the dorm door.

Back in San Diego, it was not much of a problem for me sneaking into Drake's and Josh's room, even when they had locked their door.

I used a portable lockpick.

But the locks here were a bit different.

You needed the key in order to open the door from the outside, while it was impossible to lock yourself into it from the inside.

For this very reason, I had to experiment while the dorm door was open, and this, of course, was really risky. Suddenly, I heard footsteps.

I swiftly hid the lockpick set.

And there she was: Coco Wexler, the dorm adviser of the girls.

Well, at least it had to be her, as she was slurping a half-empty can of cold ravioli.

Her demeanour was excessively disgusting.

That's why there had been so many filthy, empty cans lying around when I had made my way from Dustin's dorm to Ashley's.

I only knew one person who could hold a candle to her:

My step-father Walter Nichols was similarly characterised by gross habits, such as stuffing grapefruit into his cleavage[4:1], and other totally embarassing things I don't like talking about.

'Oh, I'm about polishing the door,' explained I. 'Ashley wants it to sparkle, as she's a celebrity.'

Coco was dumb enough to swallow my excuse.

I chuckled when Coco walked away.

It only took me a few minutes more in order to be able to figure the lock.

Alas, I decided to wait for Ashley's return before testing it for real, just in case.

Phew, that was so exciting!

* * *

Ashley came back from classes.

We tried the trick with my lockpick, and it worked nicely.

I jumped up and down with excitement, as I was now rigged and ready to sneak out on the campus.

Ashley had also given me a map of the campus.

I started familiarising myself with the map, so that I did not have to ask other pupils out there. I knew that I had to avoid Brenner Hall whenever I was near Dustin, as that was where Dustin's elder sister was located.

Dustin jumped in on us. 'Hi gals, I've got food for Megan.'

I wondered, 'don't we go to Sushi Rox tonight?'

Dustin shook his head. 'Wendy[4:2] Gellar said that there's a new web show on iCarly DOT com, made by Melanie aka Trisha[4:3] 's sister Samantha. It is cool! '

'Oh, if you say so ...' I smiled. I had once run my own web site, meganparker DOT com[4:4] , where I published a few pranks that I had pulled on Drake and Josh. My friend Addie[4:5] Singer had helped me.

Alas, we lacked a reliable tech producer, as Eric was not to be trusted too much. Hence we had dropped it, especially when I lost contact with Addie.

Wendy Gellar? Wow, she had been one of my best friends, either. She had an undying crush on Drake, and I so hope that she was over that, as Drake was nowhere near worthy opf her.

I definitely needed to restore my friendship with Wendy, once I was able to leave that hole. I started to talk to Dustin about Wendy.

He sighed. 'I once had a crush on Wendy[4:6] , but nothing came out of it, apparently because she had only had eyes for Drake.'

I nodded solemnly. 'That was so annoying ... I almost pitied Drake for being stalked by her.'

Dustin shrugged. 'OK, the showstarts at 7 p.m.'

I nodded. 'OK, I miss watching cool stuff on the interweb.' I sighed.

* * *

Ashley turned her laptop on.

Dustin clicked on iCarlyDOTcom.

The show went online.

I was consternated. 'The host looks like me ...'

Dustin nodded solemnly, alas, he was equally flabbergasted.

Ashley also nodded that Melanie and Samantha, the co-host, looked alike.

Alas, we already knew that Sam and melanie were sisters.

Apparently, Carly was the name of my lookalike.

The show was cool.

A guy in our age removed his shirt, and he got pianted front and back with finger paint.

His name was Gibby, as I was going to know later on.

Dustin and I, we laughed.

Also, it was apparent that the show was made in Seattle.

Or so we figured whe we read the static content of the web site.

I choked. _Was Carly one of my relatives from Seattle, in the best case, my monocygotic twin sister?_ I was a bit confused.

Dustin had a similar thought. 'Maybe you should contact Carly by means of the feedback button for the webshow?'

I smiled. _It may have been the key to my situation, but it was really risky. Was Carly ready to receive me with open arms? I doubted that, as she was probably going to be as consternated as I was when hearing about the possibility of having got a twin sister. In addition, it would have been very embarassing if the similarity had been mere random._

Dustin understood my objection. 'It also means that you should hide even more. For pupils on the campus will notice your similarity with web host Carly.'

I nodded sadly. _The solution of my situation was suddenly so close, but a little mistake might have shattered everything into smithereens._

I allowed Dustin to inform Wendy Gellar. I had to see her again, especially before she could spread the word about the similarity between me and Carly.

* * *

**Chapter 5 Mess With Boobert**

* * *

The next day, I really wanted to send a message to Carly's show.

My favourite segment in her show was _Mess With Lewbert_.

Lewbert seemed to be sort of a custodian or doornkeeper in the house where Carly lived. He was excessively disgusting, maybe even more than Coco or Walter.

Carly, Freddie, and Sam were rightfully interested in pranking him.

And who, if not me, was able to give some good hints for messing with that annoyance? I started thinking of a few pranks, or, rather, wondered whether my old pranks on Drake and Josh could be reused for messing with that dweeb. Hence I decided to send an anonymous message to iCarly DOT com. 'Dear Carly, Freddie, Sam, I'm an admirer of your show. My fav seg is _Mess With Lewbert_. Have you ever tried to give him nachos with superglue as sauce?[5:1] ' I still remembered when Tyler and I ... oh, I somehow missed that little guy.

Tyler was not as sweet as Dustin, but still ...

I had told Drake and Josh that I had fired Tyler as a prank assistant because it wasn't fun enough not to pull pranks alone. Well, I just had made them believe that, tricking them into being less careful. But, really, I had never dismissed Tyler or any other assistant ... Whatever, now I was waiting for an answer from Carly. _Wait, that was downright impossible, because my message was anonymous._

Ashley returned from classes.

I told her about my trick with sticky nacho sauce.

Ashley grinned manically. 'Cool!' She informed me that Dustin was going to arrive with Wendy Gellar in a few minutes.

I was already anxious.

Finally, the two of them showed up.

Wendy huggled the hell out of me. 'Is Drake with you?'

I was flabbergasted.

Dustin shrugged. 'I couldn't explain her the whole situation, not in front of a whole class ...'

I nodded. 'That's OK, Wendy, you need to know something ... I'm a fugitive, kind of, sort of ...'

Wendy glared oddly.

I sighed. 'OK, the situation is ...' I explained my flight from San Diego.

Wendy was consternated. 'Then the following will be bad news for you.'

I startled, but I kept quiet.

Wendy told us that Drake was about visiting the Pacific Coast Academy. 'I don't know why, he might come to look for you.'

I coughed and choked. _Drake was so dumb, he would never have guessed that. He must have had the idea from someone else. Josh? Janie? Aw, that was so horrible._

Dustin tried to comfort me. He was great at that. 'Maybe he's just coming for another concert? Or he wants Zoey to make him new shirts?'

I wondered. 'New shirts?'

Dustin explained that, back when Drake gave his first concert on this campus, the students had not got enough bucks to pay him, but Drake accepted Zoey's design of new Drake-shirts as a payment, kind of, sort of.

OK, that made sense to me.

But we could not be careful enough.

And I was obliged to hide in the room, again. Not yet did I know that there was still another reason, on top of iCarly,to draw the attention of pupils who never saw me.

A few minutes later, Ashley had to go. 'I need to teach Logan Reese how to feign acting nicely towards science freak Quinn Pensky. His grandpa had been a scientist[5:2], and Logan gets a few million of bucks if he either becomes a scientist or marries one between his eighteenth and his twenty-first year. '

I gagged. Never would I do such a thing, not for gazillions of gazillions of bucks. I also wondered how much Ashley earned by teaching other pupils acting. _There was certainly a bunch of dollars in it for her ..._

Dustin had to go as well. 'It's my game day with Zoey. I had to fight for getting her to play once in a month board games with me, and if I miss out on it, she will turn suspicious.'

I nodded solemnly. _It was vital for my survibal that Dustin, Ashley, Scooter, and Wendy did not deviate notably from their regular schedules._

Wendy stayed with me. 'Now that Ashley talked about science freaks ...'

I shuddered with disgust, as I had to think about Josh, and maybe a bit of his ex-fiancé Mindy. 'OK, so what?'

Wendy sighed. 'Well, there's another reason you should stay under cover. Last year, a science girl named Paige Howard visited out school.'

The name rang a bell, but I didn't know why.

Wendy told me that Paige was a scientific prodigy, looking like me. 'A lot of pupils might remember her face, and if they see you ... Zoey probably remembers Paige very well, as she had guided her through the school upon her visit. Paige almost blew the school up, it was so close, and quinn was horribly jealous of the prodigy.'

I choked with despair. 'Oh dear!'

Wendy explained that Dustin, Ashley, and Scooter had been on a field trip when Paige visited the school, so they did not know about her. Otherwise Dustin would sure have told me.

I sighed. 'Do you know more about Paige?'

Wendy just knew that she was from some town in Colorado.

_By Jupiter, Colorado!_ I moaned. I had got a friend in the same town in Colorado whom I visited on and off, her name was Jessica[5:3], well, once in a few years.

Jessica had mentioned Paige Howard more than a few times, they were friends, kind of, sort of! But she never told me about a great similarity between us.

Also, there had not been the slightest clue about Paige being such a science prodigy.

In other words, I felt urged to contact Jessica as soon as possible. _Were we a monocygotic triplet, Paige, Carly, and I?_

The whole thing stank like rotten fish, from head to toe!

* * *

**Chapter 6 Melanie Puckett**

* * *

The next day, I sat in Ashley/s dorm, pondering about that Paige Howard. I would have liked to use Ashley's laptop, and connect it to the interweb, in order to launch a search for Paige and her famous inventions that got her awarded with the National Science Fair Award.

Alas, it was too risky, as it would have proved that Ashley's laptop was used during class times, and stuff, making me traceable.

I sighed bitterly. Then I had to walk to the toilets.

* * *

I left the dorm, and walked to the bathrooms across the floor.

Suddenly, a blond girl eyed me. 'Pinned ya, Megan Parker!'

I was flabbergasted. _Damn, now it was all lost! Stay cool, Megs!_ 'Are you talking to me?' I plastered a stoic face.

The blonde grinned. 'You know very well, whom I'm talking to, Ms. Parker!'

I started turning nervous.

The blonde snickered diabolically. 'I may be as blond as my sister Samantha, but I'm way not that dumb!'

My heart dropped to the ground.

_Melanie Puckett! It must have been her. Her hair was styled in a manner way different from the co-host of iCarly DOT com, but, otherwise, they could easily pass for each other._ I tried to feign ignorance, but I failed miserably.

'It's me,' admitted the blonde, 'Melanie Puckett, or, as you may also have heard, Trisha Kirby!' She grinned satanically, like her evil twin sister on the show. 'Many think I'm the nicer one of the Puckett twins, but they are so off. Ashley Blake taught me to feign being nice, but people are so easy to trick! I've fooled the pupils, the teachers, my evil sister, so-called, and even carly Shay into being nice.'

_Ashley Blake! That one sneaky beast, she had struck again. My former best friend was sure going to break my neck with her intrigues, one day ..., even if she didn't want it. Well, Logan paid her probably well, or offered her a place in his dad's movies, in turn for showing him to impress Quinn, while Vince was her brother, although I would never do anything good for Drake or Josh without a tricky deal, but bear with it. But Trisha, like Sam, was not really of snobby origin. Who knows what she had offered unto Ashley, or how else she got her to help her fooling everyone into believing that she had turned nice._ Alas, I still had no clue how Melanie aka Trisha got at the bottom of my secret.

Melanie admitted to having hidden some microchip in Dustin's dorm.

_Did she want to get Dustin back?_ I felt terribly jealous. But concerning the microchip ... I had been hiding those things in Drake's and Josh's dorm all the time. I should have known to be more careful. _Damnit!_

Melanie grinned. 'The microchip has been build by Wayne Gilbert aka Firewire, the greatest tech freak around. Fredward Benson should learn from him.'

I coughed. _ Firewire ... that was the freak who sold me all the gadget over the interweb that I used in order to prank the boobs._ 'Is Wayne a pupil here?'

Melanie grinned, and nodded solemnly. 'Oh yes, he is.'

I was not sure whether I wanted to meet that freak. I was worried about Melanie, whowas probably going to blackmail me.

Melanie Puckett assured me that she was not going to reveil me, provided that ...

Whatever Melanie expected from me, I was not going to give up on Dustin!

Melanie cackled horribly. 'No worries, I'm not interestesd in the little Brooks guy, he smells too much like his sister. Well, I can apparently take you to Seattle, to Sam, and , hence, to your sister Carly, if she's indeed whom you think that she is. I only know so much: Her dad is in the airforce, and she can't remember zilch about her mom.'

I sighed. _That made so much sense!_

Of course, if you follow me to Seattle, you will do what have to do what I say, or else ...

I shuddered.

Melanie explained that, in a few weeks, her uncle Carmine was going to fetch her from the school. 'He organises the annual charity walkathon. [6:1], whereafter I will go to Seattle. I guess I could terrorise Carly, Sam, and Freddie ... and that elder brother of Carly, a certain Spencer, what a total loser! '

I shrugged. I was accustomed to having annoying losers as elder brothers, so, one more of that sort did not matter, did it?

Melanie insisted that I was going to do what she told me when we were in Seattle, which had probably to do with keeping her secrets secret.

It sounded like fun.

On the other hand, I was not really trusting Melanie aka Trisha, even if she was over Dustin. I so hoped that there was going to be a better solution to make it to Seattle, and to meet my potential relatives up there. Hence I sighed deeply. 'Have you seen a certain Paige Howard when she was here?'

Melanie grinned. 'She's as fake as ... I can't say why, I sense that it is so.'

OK, I had known that there was something fishy with Paige, but Melanie's sensation did not help me any further, either.

* * *

In the evening, I had to tell Dustin about my encounter with Trisha aka Melanie.

He didn't really care about her anymore. 'I hope that you can handle her ...'

I sighed.

Both of us were infinitely sad my trip to Seattle was going to mean a long separation. We hated to have to think about it.

But the current situation could not have been but transitory, and our separation was going to be inevitable for my quest, even if I had preferred to take Dustin with me on my way to the end of the world, if possible.

* * *

**Chapter 7 Double-Edged Sword**

* * *

When I was younger, like, three years before my getaway, and met Ashley Blake for the first time, I was not only considering her as my potentially best friend, but also as an example to live up to. But since I had come to live in Ashley's dorm, I had been forced to revise my former estimation of her demeanour, and of her career.

That day, a reason more powerful than ever got piled upon those.

As I've said before, Dustin was an errant boy for Logan Reese, by whom he was treated like dirt.

Logan had recently left a message on Dustin's mail box, insulting him from head to toe for being a bit late.

It might have been because Dustin had to do something for me, but, anyways, his schedule was already incredibly dense, thus such a conflict was inevitable.

Dean Rivers was not pleased when he heard about that incident, and he sent Logan to a anger management camp. He did not dare to dismiss him, because his dad was one of the main sponsors of the academy.

Anyways, as most participants in the camp were lower class people, Logan was going to expect too much trouble.

* * *

Ashley had now offered to teach Logan to feign being nice, so he was not going to be punished at all for being so mean to Dustin.

A world broke down for me.

Ashley grinned manically when she told me, in her cold and abrasive manner, that she has just saved Logan from receiving his deserved punishment.

I so wanted to do something against her.

Ashley chuckled diabolically. 'Do you want to go to Dean Rivers and tell him about everything? He will be so pleased that he will not denounce you to your mom, and to the boobs.'

Her voice was even a mite more sarcastic than usual.

I was desperate, as I so wanted to help Dustin to get his rights, but I was powerless, like handcuffed by my "best friend". I needed to go puking.

* * *

Ashley's diabolic grin filled the room, it even filled the whole dormitory building when I had left the dorm, and Ashley was out of sight, and out of my ear.

I had a hard time understanding why Ashley did all those things for Logan Reese.

Ashley had boasted with her capacity of showing various people to act in a way to fool others, making them get what they wanted, but Loagan was one of her main clients.

A year ago, Logan had tutored Zoey in chemistry. [7:1]. He hated science, he just knew a lot because his grandpa had taught him, when he had been a little kid. Anyways, he was too embarassed to admit to his knowledge, Ashley had shown him to hide it by teaching him to make Chase believe that Logan and Zoey were dating.

That was sick, oh so sick!

And, not too many months ago, Logan had been cut off by his dad, because he had abised his credit card too much[7:2] .

Ashley had taught Logan to pretend that he was totally helpless without his credit card, unable to survive, as he used to pay others for doing most of his daily tasks.

Zoey and her friends had actually fallen for Logan's mischievous feints.

Following Ashley's advice, Logan had also got himself beat up on several occasions, especially by wrestling champion Chuck Javers[7:3], and by Ashley's brother Vince [7:4] just in order to provoke the pity of his "friends".

Sometimes, the older kids had understood that they had been fooled, but they had never come to understand that Logan had got himself beat up on purpose, just in order to be pitied by Zoey, Chase, Michael, Lola, and Quinn.

I sighed bitterly, once I had discharged my stomach into the toilet.

And now Ashley was working on getting Logan to seduce Quinn Pensky, the favourite grandaughter-in-law of Logan's science-freak grandpa.

I shook my head. _Why, oh why, did Ashley, if she liked Logan so much that she helped him in so many situations, also help him to marry another girl, in particular, a science freak, although he hated her?_

Maybe Logan was going to keep Ashley as his mistress, and trrash Quinn once he had got the money that he wanted.

I would really have liked to warn Quinn Pensky, but my hands were tied, even more, as Quinn was sure going to deliver me to Zoey, and hence to mom and Drake, if she was not grateful enough, or did not believe me.

Logan's plans, as incited by Ashley might once have been cool in my consideration, as cool, but my experience with Corey had showed me that they were sick, oh so sick.

* * *

Dustin and I, we talked in whispers.

I was ashamed because, spellbound by Ashley's menace, I was not able to help him.

Dustin understood my situation, and he hugged me softly. He told me that Zoey and her boyfriend James were going to do something about it, like provoking Logan's anger when the shrink who was controlling him was watching.

I could only hope that Zoey's plan was going to work out in the end.

But who was James?

Aftyer everything I had heard about Zoey, I had expected Chase Matthews to be her boyfriend by now.

Dustin said that Chase had messed it up on several occasions.

Zoey had gone to England, along with her parents.

Chase could have stopped her, but he behaved like an idiot.

When she was gone, he rued everything, telling his friends that he was indeed madly in love with Zoey.

Dustin's sister had heard that, on accident, as a webcam was still running, and she came back for Chase.

Too bad, Chase had decided to move to England, just in order to be with his love.

Bang! They had just traded places.

Even worse, a few weeks later, Zoey actually had fallen for the blond rake from New Mexico, James Garrett.

Crap happens ...

I sighed, as I was forced to live with that double-edged sword of Damokles, names Ashley Blake, until I found a lift to another place to stay, probably Melanie and her uncle Carmine, taking me far away from my beloved Dustin.

* * *

**Chapter 8 Drake's Visit**

* * *

The following days, Zoey had tried to trick Logan, and she finally fooled Logan into showing his anger.

The way Zoey had achieved that was cool.

Maybe I could even learn from her.

Of course, nothing like that would ever happen as long as I had to hide from Zoey.

Zoey had thrown a paint bomb into Logan's dorm, splattering him all over.

Logan had hidden his anger for a few moments, until he believed that his shrink and was gone. Then he had released his anger.

But the shrink and Dean Rivers came back, sentencing Logan to serve the rest of his time in anger management camp.

* * *

My second week at the Pacific Coast Academy had started.

Ashley was upset, and she turned even more grumpy, letting me feel her frustration. But she knew very well that I was not going to tell Zoey.

For almost a week, I had now forgotten about Drake coming to the PCA for whatever reason, hoping that reason was not related to me, as, in that case, someone must have given him a clue.

Ashley grinned, because Logan was close to enslaving Quinn.

The geek girl had been dumped by her ex-boyfriend Mark del Figgalo.

Already that name gave me the creeps. _What sort of name is Del Figgalo?_

Alas, according to Dustin, Mark was way worse than his surname.

If I ever wanted to have known whether it was possible to be more of a dork than Josh Nichols, I had now found the answer ... it was possible!

Quinn was now mentally unstable.

I remember the time when I broke up with Corey, but it was apparently not comparable to Quinn's situation, was it?

I would never have made the mistake of chosing just the next best Mr. Wrongers.

And Logan was going to abuse Quinn's confusion shamelessly.

I was so disgusted by not being able to warn Quinn.

Now Dustin came with new news: The day that Drake was coming to the PCA was just one more day!

I wished I could hide somewhere in a mouse hole, watching Drake and Zoey talk about whatever they had to talk about.

That lack of certitude was so incredibly hard to bear.

But I did not risk sneaking out to the campus.

Instead, Dustin used a little microchip, which he had once borrowed from Quinn when he was her test rabbit, in order to show up at Zoey's and Drake's encounter.

I was thus able to watch them from a laptop, using 'Firewire' technology.

* * *

I was now watching Zoey and Drake meeting in the lounge.

It appeared pretty harmless.

Zoey introduced Dustin to Drake.

I had to hope that Dustin was not inadvertedly blushing or stuff like that, if Drake started mentioning me. _That would have been such a plain giveaway! Well, at least for Zoey, as Drake was way too dumb for noticing those subtle hints._

They started talking about the t-shirts that Zoey had designed for Drake in order to pay him for his last concert.

Dustin sighed. 'Will Drake come again for a concert?'

I really hoped that, if Drake was going to do that, it was when I was already 'safely' tucked away in Seattle.

The answer was a clear "maybe".

Zoey and Drake were obviously going to negotiate about another performance of his band at the PCA.

A little later, I noticed that they were talking about Zoey's prom ball.

There were apparently two canditates: A band consisting of some Dirk, Blake, and Suzée [8:1], and, of course, Drake's band.

Clearly, wishing the contact between Zoey and Drake being as minimal as possible, I preferred Zoey to decide in favour of the band of Dirk, Blake, and Suzée as fast as possible. But I saw no way of influencing Zoey's decision.

At least Zoey did not even remotely flirt with Drake.

I had to admire Dustin's elder sister for that, as only very few girls were able to resist Drake's perverted attempts, one of them being Mindy Crenshaw.

And Drake certainly tried to.

I sighed with relief when Drake walked away again.

He had not even mentioned me. Well, he was unlikely missing me even a bit.

This was what I had expected.

Dustin had to walk away, anyways: He had quit his errant job for Logan Reese, and hired as a delivery boy at Sushi Rox.

This meant, by the way, that it was now even easier for him to grab some sushi or some Japanese candy for me, without making everyone suspicious.

I liked that.

Well, sooner or later, Kazu was going to notice.

I had to hope that this was going to happen after I was gone.

And it was only one week to go until the charity walkathon.

Dustin was going to participate, along with Zoey. So far, he had achieved staying unsuspicious around his sister.

I hoped him to remain cool.

* * *

**Chapter 9 Another Webcast**

* * *

The following day, I watched the next webcast.

Carly grinned. 'You lnow, one of our favourite segment is _Mess With Lewbert_.'

Sam grinned fanatically.

Carly explained that they had tried many times to mess with him seriously.

Lewbert still needed to pay hard for having let trick-or-treating kids enter Carly's loft, almost torturing Spencer to death[9:1].

Carly and Sam excused themselves for having been a trifle too lame for coming up with decent pranks on Lewbert.

I agreed wholeheartedly. _Just yelling at Lewbert at the phone really didn't quite cut it!_

Carly sighed. 'Fortunately, one of our viewers has submitted a few ideas.'

Sam wondered which viewer.

Carly shrugged. 'An anonymous viewer.'

Sam sighed.

I was excited.

Freddie started a video.

Carly commented. 'Here you see Sam and me snucking up to Lewbert's counter, and placing a table with nachos[9:2] on top of it, while Lewbert is still half asleep. You also see that glass of water which we place next to the counter.'

Carly kicked the counter, and she ran away.

Lewbert wondered. 'Hey, who is it? Oh, nachos!'

Sam grinned. 'It looks like nachos, it smells like nachos, but are those real nachos?'

Carly chuckled. 'As we all know, Sam would have eaten the nachos all alone.'

Sam grinned.

Lewbert grabbed the nachos, and he stuffed them between his teeth. Then he noticed that they have been a bit salty.

Carly shrugged. 'OK, let's see what Lewbert does in such a case ...'

Lewbert grabbed a glass of water that stood next to his bell, right on the counter.

Sam grinned. 'He's going to drink some water, as most of us would do.'

Carly smiled. 'Who wouldn't?'

Lewbered poured the water into his gaping mouth.

All of a sudden, his teeth started to glue together.

Lewbert coughed an choked.

Freddie explained that the glass of water and the sauce contained each one of the components of a binary glue. 'Binary glues are two non-sticky liquids with turn totally sticky when they come together.'

Sam walked through the picture. 'Carly, do you think it's true what I've read in the latest _Buzz_[_9:3_]?'

Carly whistled innocently. 'Dunno, what do they write?'

Sam smiled. 'They write that lizard piss[9:4] dissolves almost every glue!'

Hearing that, Lewbert ran into his apartment, grabbed his pet lizard[9:5] , and held it's rear end over his mouth, waiting for some liquid to drop out.

Freddie explained that some warm water would suffice in order to solve the glue, but Lewbert was going to figure that sooner or later, anyways.

The clip was done.

Carly smiled. 'So, dear submitter ...'

'Whom we don't know,' added Sam, 'as you are an Alcoholic Anonymous, like my mom before she was fired because she just switched to other drugs ...'

Carly had to laugh about Sam's remark. 'Ok, dear stranger, this was the greatest prank ever!'

Sam triggered a fake applause.

Carly sighed. 'Too bad we don't know your name ...'

'Youre address ...'

'Your age ...'

'Your shoe size ...'

Carly sighed. 'Shoe size? But, whatever, if we knew you, we would invite you into some of our webcasts.'

Sam nodded. 'And I'm sure that most of our viewers would desperately want to get to know you!'

I grinned enigmatically.

But would they really have wanted me in their web casts, given that I would ause a lot of confusion?

Carly switched to yet another segment. 'OK, public enemy number one.'

Sam grinned. 'Carly's elder brother is a hardrock drummer.'

'At least he thinks that he is,' added Carly, shrugging doubtfully.

Sam continued. 'He wants to play in a band. Recently, he has assembled a drumset from random junk[9:6]. '

Carly sighed. 'He has even found a band that gave him a chance, no, they pretended to give him a chance!'

Freddie inserted various pictures, one of the drum set, another one of the band.

Sam continued. 'But that band, whose members are named Dirk, Blake, and Sue, have not accepted him in their band, but they have abused Carly's loft as a practice room, they abused Spencer for getting a time slice in _Seattle Beat_, and rthey ran away with his drumset!' Sam's face darkend. 'Even worse, they sacked his fridge, before I could do that! This one thing makes them, in my opinion ...'

Carly choked. 'And all the other things make them, in my opinion ...'

Freddie inserted a virtual banderole.

Carly and Sam read the text aloud: 'Public Enemy Number One!'

I knew that this band of drum thieves should pay for everything! _But .. wait ... Drake, Sue, and Blake?_

These were the same names as those who were going to try out for playing at the upcoming prom night of the Pacific Coast Academy!

* * *

Dustin jumped in. 'Sorry, I've been practising for the charity walkathon, together with Zoey.'

I nodded solemnly. 'Just watch the episode on the web show's archive. It's really fun.'

Dustin agreed.

Then I told him about the criminal band.

Dustin choked. 'They are going to talk to Zoey, like, the other day ...'

I knew that they did not deserve to play for the prom.

Drake was a boob, but he would never steal instruments for his band, maybe borrow without asking in advance, but not steal!

Alas, if everything went well, I was gone by thousand miles when the week was done.

And Zoey was not going to decide before another week later.

Dustin sighed. 'I need to get Carly's, Freddie's, and Sam's drums back!'

In nodded.

Technically, those were Spencer's instruments, but it didn't really matter.

Even oh-so-cool Ashley was upset. She appeared to come up with a plan that involved her supreme acting prowess.

I was anxious when my last days at the Pacific Coast Academy were coming along ...

* * *

**Chapter 10 Good-Bye, Dustin!**

* * *

Finally, time had come for the Charity Walkathon.

The students were supposed to offer donations for each mile a fellow pupil of their choice made in the walkathon.

Too bad I didn't have any money to offer.

Dustin had been jogging a lot in order to prepare for the event, along with Zoey, so they were sure up for a dozen of miles, or even more.

Of course, I would have loved to be his partner for the event. Back in San Diego, I had been a member of the soccer team of my school, Belleview Junior High. I missed those times.

Due to the lack of training, I was certainly not as great as I used to be.

Dustin was really too short for his age, well, he was probably a late grower. For that reason, he was not the first choice for any team, be it soccer, which I practised, or basketball, where his sister was the uncointested queen, let alone football, hockey, or baseball, the three most popular team sports at many schools. But he was agile and endurant.

For that reason, I would have loved to do some sports with Dustin, especially jogging down by the beach, or swimming in the pools on the campus, if not along the beach.

That would have been so much fun.

But I had to hide, and hence all of that was out of question.

Also, it hurt me having left my soccer team down, in the middle of the season.

But the same was valid for the choir and orchestra, where I served as a second oboist.

I would have loved to work my way up to the first oboe, sooner or later.

Just, as has been made evident, there was no way for me to inform them without betraying myself.

* * *

After sitting in Ashley's room for hours, my host stumbled in. 'Dustin has made twenty miles!'

I smiled. I would have preferred to cheer aloud, but that would have been too risky.

Ashley grinned with utterly mischievous glee when she told me that her worst enemy, Lola Martinez, had offered thirty bucks for Dustin, not knowing that the donations were per mile.

As a consequence, Lola was now a few hundreds of bucks in the debts.

I wasn't sure whether that was fun.

Lola wasn't that bad an actress, and she would for sure have liked Drake, and been able to distract him from annoying me.

That's because, according to Dustin, Lola was addicted to good kissers, and Drake was one, I mean, so it was rumoured.

Of course I didn't have any experience with Drake's kisses, except a cheek kiss after he got beat up for me by Corey, which was sweet from him.

Hey, had I just thought about Drake having done something sweet?

Can't be!

Why would I ever have dared to think anything like that?

Whatever, I'm sure that Lola Martinez would have been able to keep Drake fasninated and excited for much more than just a few weeks.

Along came Trisha Kirby, aka Melanie Puckett. 'OK, uncle Carmine will be ready to take us to Seattle, after he has dealt with those pupils who refuse to pay the amount of bucks they had offered for the performance of the participant of their choice!'

Trisha's voice sounded like a threat of the worst sort.

I would not have wanted one to owe anything to Carmine, probably a Cosa Nostra leader of some sort, like all adult male members of the Puckett family.

* * *

Just as the way from San Diego Belleview to Malibu, I was going to spend the way from here to Seattle in the back of the car, wrapped i some linen cloth.

The only difference: The distance from here to Seattle was like thousand miles, not just some hundred miles that I had spent in the back of Mrs. Carmichael's car!

Hell, there was another difference:

Unlike Robbie, Trisha, or Melanie, whatever, was no naïve peach, but some dubious shadow rogue.

Ashley and Trisha wrapped me carefully into the cloth.

Along came Dustin. He was very sad when he saw me for the last time before my departure.

Ashley just shrugged. She appeared at ease when I was out of the way. In any case, she would have been away for a few days for another shooting, right after that weekend, and, after that, she was going to be busy helping Vince getting started again.

This implies that residing in Ashley's dorm any longer would have been a lot more troublesome.

Also, Dustin had already gone out of his way helping me, and it was just a matter of time , time , time, time, until Zoey had to find out[10:1]. .

Hey, had I just hummed along some of Drake's song? I must have started growing mad at some incredible speed.

After all, leaving the campus was something that had to be right now, for the better or the worse.

Heart broken, I gazed at Dustin for one last time. I was left with teh hopes that there was going to be another chance for us, somewhere between dystopia and nirvana.

Ashley used a handkerchief, trying to try Dustin's face, but she did so in her usual ice-cold manner.

Finally, Trisha shut the suitcase ...

My world went dark.

I felt carried away.

* * *

California was all but left behind.

'Hello, Washington, here comes Megan Parker!'

* * *

**Chapter 11 Oh Mandy**

* * *

I wondered where Trisha aka Melanie was going to dump me, without her uncle's knowledge.

She had told him that she had a parcel for one of her friends, something that is only available in Southern California.

But who might be that friend?

Finally, there was light above my head.

I was still slightly dazed, after a trip of like thousand miles.

A girl, a few years younger than myself, hovered over me.

Melanie told her to be careful. 'I'm going to look after her, once every while.'

'Hi,' said the strange girl who wore some mask, but it was apparently not a mask that criminals wore, so I did not have to worry too much. 'My name is Amanda Valdez, but you may call me Mandy. You do look like Carly!' She beamed.

'Hi, Mandy,' replied I. 'Nice mask?'

Mandy giggled. 'Do you think so?' She slipped her mask, covering her face completely. 'Quack! Quack!'

The mask made her look like a duck, well, a very silly duck.

Mandy was apparently a very enthusiastic fan of iCarly. She was glad to have the two doppelgangers of the moderators of the web show in her house.

I shrugged.

Melanie said that I was going to stay with Mandy for a few days, until she had found a better solution.

We were now in Tacoma, a few miles from Seattle.

I sighed.

Melanie had to leave, lest her uncle was going to turn suspicious.

I waved at Melanie.

Mandy's enthusiastic demeanour gave me the creeps.

I could imagine how Carly and Sam must have felt when encountering that obsessive fan.

Wendy stalking Drake had not been much different.

Mandy talked about the many things she wanted to do with us four, that is, with me and carly, and Sam and Melanie, once we were united in a room. 'I'm working on a new, improved version of my duck dance.'

_Duck dance? Hell, this was how I used to call the way Robbie Carmichael walked._ 'What would you say if I knew a boy who could be the perfect duck dancer?'

Mandy beamed brightly. 'Who?'

I told her about Robbie Carmichael, or, as Dustin used to call him, Scooter.

'He's in California?' Mandy appeared disappointed.

I nodded solemnly. 'Sad, but true!'

Mandy pouted. 'Maybe I will sneak there when Melanie goes back to her school, after the funeral of her grandpa.'

I coughed. 'What?' Alas, I should have wondered earlier why melanie was allowed to leave the boarding school for a whole week, in the midst of a term. _That was certainly fairly unusual._

Mandy shrugged. 'Sam's grandpa had been in bad health for a few months. He was supposed to die, and Melanie wanted to see him for one last time. Now it's too late, and Melanie doesn't even know it.'

I coughed and choked.

Mandy just shrugged. 'I would be in Los Angeles by now, too, but ...'

I wondered what had kept her from going there, as she was really fascinated from california.

Mandy explained that she had tried to follow her favourite band, that of Dirk, Blake, and Suzée. But then she had heard that they were mean thieves who stole Spencer's drums. 'I won't continue liking a band who stole from my favourite adult!' She swooned.

I nodded. 'That would have been very bad, indeed.'

Mandy sighed. 'Too bad there is no twin for Freddie ...'

I smiled. _That would have been too cute! But wait!_ I remembered that Fredward benson looked a lot like Toplin[11:1] Wheeler, the little brother of one of Drake's fair-weather friends.

Toplin had tried to hit on me for several times, right after I had broken up with Corey and was vulnerable. I had tried to forget about him, but now that mandy talked about it ... 'There might be a chance that there is a lost sibling of Freddie, down in San Diego, and that I know him ...'

Mandy's eyes bugged out. 'Really?' She jumped up and down, and she bounced around, cheering like crazy. 'Tell me!'

Inspite of all the pains, I achieved talking about how Toplin had invited me to Thornton's birthday party, where Drake and Josh had been uninvited from, and how the embarassing boobs had tried to sneak into the party in order to retrieve the birthday gift that they had already given away.

Mandy was more and more enthusiastic. 'We need a meeting of all the six of you, plus me as your greatest fan, ever! Then we will have a big party, and a double-sized web show, as we have got everyone twice!'

I sighed. 'Yeah, that might be a good idea.'

There was no direct way for me to contact Toplin Wheeler.

I did not have his number, and I would have had to talk to Thornton, but that was not possible without alerting Drake and Josh.

Mandy pouted. 'Can't your friends at Melanie's boarding school try to fix that?'

I sighed. I wished that I could contact Dustin that easily, but he had already brought himself into a lot of potential troubles when I was at the Pacific Coast Academy, each contact over the internet needed to be planned carefully, and kept to a minimum, in order to maintain Dustin's safety.

Ashley scared me too much.

Scooter was too much of a chicken to do that research, although he was predestinated as a boy from San Diego, but it was unlikely that mom and Walter had not yet contacted his parents, making him suspicious.

Wendy was certainly a possibility.

I decided to tell Mandy about Wendy, although I feared that two fanatic fans ganging up were going to cause infinite terror. I shuddered.

Although Mandy, like Wendy, was good-willing and intrinsically harmless, she gave me totally the creeps, and made me wish for a possibility to leave for a better hideout as soon as possible.

* * *

**Chapter 12 Melissa Robinson**

* * *

It was time for yet another iCarly webcast.

Mandy and I, we watched it together.

Fredward counted in his usual manner. '5...4...3...2'

I wondered why he didn't say the one. _Was he too stupid to count down to one? Probably ..._

Carly smiled. 'Hello! We still haven't found a trace of the guy who sent us the best _Mess-With-Lewbert_ prank ever!'

Sam sighed. 'Whatever. According to polls, there are many adults watching our show, but most of them do so becsue of their kids ...'

Carly smiled. 'or little siblings ...'

'Or nephiews and nieces,' added Sam. 'Or pupils ...' She shuddered with disgust, probably because she hated teachers, no matter what, just like Drake, just worse.

Carly nodded. 'Whatever ... we wanted to know what is our oldest regular viewer that does not watch us for the above reasons.'

Sam triggered a fake 'boo'.

Freddie nodded.

Carly continued: 'As our tech producer Freddie may confirm, it took us quite some effort to get at reliable statistics.'

Sam grinned. 'But, i the end, we found that loser!'

Carly was not pleased by the way in which Sam insulted a regular viewer. 'Sam!'

Sam shrugged.

Freddie projected a picture onto a green screen

Carly smiled. 'And here he is: Eric Blonowitz. He is twenty-two years old, and he lives with his mother in San Diego, California!'

Sam, visibly disgusted, triggered a fake applause.

Carly whispered subtly: 'Yes, he is a loser!' On the other hand, the host was glad about every viewer she had.

My heart was standing still, starting with the second where Freddie had projected Eric's picture onto the wall.

I knew Eric.

He was one of Drake's "friends". Eric was the nerdiest of all nerds, well, of all nerds I knew of before coming to hide at the Pacific Coast Academy.

_iCarly_ was a webcast for kids and tweenies, maybe until fifteen, which had hitherto prevented me from assuming that either Drake of Josh were watching it.

Well, but Eric was quite a different calibre.

His dorkiness may have prevented him from recopgnising Carly as a lookalike of mine right on site, but, sooner or later, he was liable to recognise that fact.

Even if Eric did not get it, his best friend Craig, although modestly dorlky himself, was quite likely to see it, especially if forced to watch the show with Eric.

Of course, Eric and Craig could think about our similar appearance whatever they wanted, but if they started mentioning it to Drake or Josh, things were likely to get out of hand.

I had never wondered before what Drake might have started to go through when he noticed that there was a girl out there that could be a monocygotic twin of mine, or at least a somewhat close relatives. I had always assumed that he had not missed our dad or any other relatives from paternal side at all.

But what if things were not that easy?

I knew that Audrey had done, and was still about doing, or ever going to do everything to prevent Drake, or me for that matter, from exploring that side of our family.

On the other hand, if Carly came to suspect that she was related to Drake Parker, she was more likely than not going to sink chin-deep into the hoopla.

I was not sure how famous Drake was in Seattle, maybe less than in California, but if either Carly or Sam were fangirls of Drake, they would do everything to get to know and contact him.

Chaos!

* * *

After the show, I used the interweb to contact my friends at the Pacific Coast Academy.

Dustin had already been dying from excitement.

Mandy used the time to make out — virtually, of course — with Robbie Carmichael.

He even returned her affection in kind.

Ashley's brother Vince was now back at the PCA, and he apparently had learnt well from Ashley's instructions, starting to enchant Lola Martinez into dating him.

I was not sure whether that was Ashley's plan, but it might well have been:

Chase was still away in London.

What was going to hurt him more than noticing, upon his return to California, that his best friends were friends with, and, in the case of Lola, even _dating_, a guy that had bullied him?

On the other hand, Ashley had never shown much compassion for her closest rival, i.e. Lola. But she might still have reckoned that, sooner or later, Vince was going to trash Lola anyways, when she took Chase's side upon his return.

I knew that this should not have been my concern, but I was so easy to worry, especially after I had experienced the excessive horror with Cory.

Wendy wantewd to know what my hideout was like.

This allowed me to introducer her to Mandy.

Ther latter entrusted Wendy with doing research concerning Toplin Wheeler.

Wendy vaguely remembered Toplin, but she had not thought of him right from the top of her head when she saw Freddie first, probably because, as the tech producer, Freddie was only seen in a few cameo scenes. She promised us to go and look for him, completing the collection consisting in me and Melanie.

* * *

The next day, Melanie bounded in, followed by a girl with brown hair of medium length.

'Carly!' The hitherto unbeknownst girl jumped up and down with excitement.

Melanie giggled. 'Melissa, I told you, this is not Carly, it's her potential twin sister Megan.'

I was astonished that Melissa could not tell us apart, whoever she was.

Melanie introduced the girl as Melissa Robinson, a former best friend of Carly, befiore she moved away with her dead, Colonel Robinson.

Melissa was still flabbergasted. 'OK, Megan, you may call me Missy, just as Carly used to do.'

Apparently, Melissa and Carly had been separated for quite some time.

Melanie had just heard about gradpa's dead, and she was really sad.

Melissa grinned. 'I'm not at all pleased that Carly has now found a new best friend, Samantha Puckett.'

I could imagine that. _Maybe Janie found a new best friend while I was gone? This would hurt me._

Melissa wanted me and Melanie to keep an eye at the situation. 'Next year, I'm going to return to Seattle, and, by then, I want you to break Carly and Samantha apart!'

Usually, I would have loved committing those things, but Ashley's mean cabals had actually turned me off, to quite some degree. 'Why should I?'

Melanie grumbled. 'Because you can do that, just fool Sam that you're Carly, and prank her a bit, as you used to do with Drake and Josh!'

I was still reluctant.

Melanie grunted. 'Do I have to remind you of our deal from Malibu?'

I sighed with disgust.

Melissa grinned. 'My dad knows Admiral Shay very well, from Military University through their common time at Seattle Beach and over in the Middle East. So, who do you think, will be able to help you find your dad better than me?'

I grumbled with despair. I had just escaped from Ashley, and now that! _But was there any other choice left? Time was pressing hard ..._

* * *

**Chapter 13 Acting As Carly**

* * *

AS I have already mentioned, I didn't feel well with this plan. Not only did I hate potentially upsetting my twin sister, but, in addition, I would have died if I had effected the cancellation of the iCarly Show!

Dustin and Wendy were totally addicted to it.

Well, Missy was ready to take over for Sam, should we have been successful, but this was still going to last for a while.

Now there was one single day left until Melanie had to leave for California.

I sobbed, because then she was going to be geographically close to Dustin, whereas I was keeping on missing the sweetie.

Now, our plan was the following:

Sam was forced to go to tutoring classes.

Carly joined her voluntarily, as she feared that Sam could cause too much trouble without her guidance.

Alas, on various occasions, Sam skipped those classes, as she hated everything related to school, and then she talked Carly in to skipping as well.

Feigning to be Sam, Melanie just had to tell Carly that she wanted to skip[ this tutor group, and go with Carly to the mall instead, where those tall seniors and juniors loiter all the evening.

I was going to replace Carly in her tutor group, making Sam believe that I was Carly.

But how tp push Sam subtly into a direction where a conflict with Carly was turning out to be inevitable?

I had observed that Freddie and Samantha were no good friends, well, at least they kept on bickering, and, whenever Carly wasn't watching, something bad was likely to happen.

Freddie had a stupid crush on Carly. He must have been a sadomasochist, enjoying being turned down by Carly over and over again.

I shuddered at that thought.

My idea was now to get Sam to believe that I, or, rather, Carly, was trying to push her into dating Freddie.

* * *

Our tutor, or, rather, Sam's tutor, was a certain Mrs. Briggs.

According to what I had learnt from the archived webcasts, that teacher for English and Social Studies was obsessed with Randy Jay[13:1], the leading judge of the music casting show _American Sings_[13:2] .

If I had been Drake's manager, I would have got him to perform as a backing guitarist for that show.

But Drake was dumb enough to choose that dork named Josh Nichols as a manager, and now it's all his own fault if he ends up eating dog food on a back seat of some rusty car form the eighties.

I sure was not going to put any more efforts into pulling that ungrateful boob out of the sticky swamp.

Those times had gone by.

Mrs. Briggs was really a pain in the ass.

Alas, I knew a teacher at San Diego Belleview who was way worse.

Her name was Mrs. Hafer.

But that Mrs. Briggs deserved a thorough prank, as well.

At the end of the tutoring group, during which I had to refrain Sam from being too much of a slagger and a rebel, I mentioned that Sam should get Freddie to tutor her.

Sam gasped. 'Dorkward Benson? Are you gaga!'

I chuckled. 'The two of you look so cute together!'

Sam glared aghast. 'Are you crazy?'

I shrugged. 'But you really do!'

Sam choked. 'If you weren't Carly, I would smite you up and down your face, and punch your lights out for that. Do you know that?'

I chuckled. 'Probably!' _OK! That was enough for the time being._

Leaving the school hall, we passed by Mrs. Briggs' car.

I had got an idea. I fetched a sheet of paper, and I wrote a note for Mrs. Briggs. 'Dear Mrs. Briggs, come to a date with me to Gromedge Mall, next Tuesday at 10 a.m. Let's spend a few nice hours together. Your addicted Ray N. D. Jackson.' I giggled mercilessly. _Was Mrs. Briggs ready to skip her own classes for a date with the greatest record producer ever?_

Sam asked me whether I wanted to come with her to a smoothie, over at some teenager pub called 'Groovy Smoothie'.

I shook my head, as I could not risk too much. 'I have to go to a book shop, and buy a book for my project.'

Sam shrugged, and she walked away. She was allergic against book shops.

* * *

I had taken the bus to said shop.

Really, Melanie was going to pick me up from there, but I was half an hour early.

A guy, younger than myself, walked in.

His head was round like a soccer ball.

He glared at me. 'Carly Shay. you will rue the day, until dystopia will you rue it!' For such a young boy, he knew a few impressive words, I could say.

I turned around. 'I'm not Carly!' I did not want to pay for Carly's sins, whatever they were.

The guy grinned. 'You can't fool me!'

I sighed. 'My name is Megan Parker, but who are you?'

The boy grunted. 'You know who I am! I'm Nevel! Nevel Papperman, your nightmare until the latter days!'

I had never seen him before, but the name Nevel Papperman rang a bell. 'As in Nevelocity DOT Com?' _I have thought of the founder of such a megatastic site a bit older, like, thirty-something, not a tweenie._

Nevel grinned. 'Oh yeah, as true as I have built that site, I'm going to make you pay!'

I shrugged. 'Pay for what?' I was curious what seemingly innocent Carly could have done to such a little boy, causing his perennial wrath to be upon her.

'You know it, Carly!'

I was upset. 'Dern, I'm not Carly.' How could I prove my innocence? 'May Carly play the oboe?'

Nevel shook his head. 'Her taste for music is bad.'

Too bad I didn't have my oboe with me. I sighed. 'If you let me fetch my oboe, I could ...'

Nevel shook his head. He just asked me a few questions about the history of musics, and various composition techniques.

It turned out that he was learning to play the classic piano.[13:3]. Then he told me what Carly had done to him.

Apparently, Nevel had interviewed Carly for his website, and he had come a bit too close to her, kissing her cheeks without asking, and reciting poems about kisses.

Carly had reacted by smearing his face with green salsa. She had not understood that Nevel was just quoting poems about kisses that he had written for an opera that he was about composing, and which he wanted to present on iCarly.

As I was still looking for a place to stay for the next time, I struck a deal with Nevel.

He was going to host me, making his mom believe that I was Carly, and I had to leave Bushwell for a few weeks for some reason.

In turn, I was going to help him with his opera, and to get his troubles with Carly "sorted out".

Nevel was a bit of a spaz, but he could not be worse than Ashley, could he?

* * *

**Chapter 14 Living With Nevel**

* * *

I entered the loft of the Pappermans.

Nevel's dad live somewhere else, he didn't bother to say where.

His mom was there. 'Hi, Nevel!'

Nevel grinned. 'Hello, mom. You remember Carlotta Shay?'

I smiled. 'Good evening, Mrs. Papperman.'

Mrs. Papperman smiled. 'Oh, sure, Carly!'

Nevel asked: 'May Carly live with us for a while?'

Mrs. Papperman wondered. 'Why? She has got her own loft, and an elder brother to care for her.'

Nevel sighed. 'Usually, she does, but nowadays...'

I continued: The loft is going to be repaired.

Nevel nodde vigorously. Yeah, some things need to be fixed.

Mrs. Papperman shrugged. 'OK, but what about Spencer?'

I choked, but I did not lose my cool. 'Oh, Spencer is doing fine, but he is going to live with his pal for a while, and he does not trust him, because ...'

Nevel took over. 'Socko! That's his pal's name. He's a spaz who hits on teenager girls.'

I nodded. 'Yeah, he is, at least Spencer thinks so!'

Mrs. Papperman shuddered. 'Sure, I will host Carly. I just wonder...haven't you been at each other's throat?'

I shrugged. 'Sure, but we are now over with that!'

Nevel nodded.

Mrs. Papperman smiled. 'OK, but I still need a way to contact Spencer.'

My heart dropped into the basement. _What to do? How to get someone to emulate Spencer' voice?_

Nevel fainted, but he did not lose his cool.

I had got an idea. _Spencer's voice, which I had heart briefly on the webshow, reminded me of someone living in San Diego I knew somewhat well: Crazy Steve, a psychopath who worked at the same theatre as my step-boob Josh._ I gave Mrs. Papperman the number of Crazy Steve. 'Here it is!'

Nevel's mom thanked me.

I grinned.

Nevel sighed with relief.

Alas, I was not completely at ease. _Crazy Steve knew Josh, of course, and he might have alerted him, somehow. But as long as Mrs. papperman took me for Carly, this was not an issue._ I was still determined to gain time for something, until I received a message from Melissa Robinson, reveiling my dad's whereabouts.

* * *

Not much later, I started practising Nevel's new opera. 'It's cool!'

My oboe made it sound even better.

Nevel smiled. 'Megs, as we've been singing about kissing...'

I sighed, because I might disappoint him, but I had to fess up. 'Nevel, you're cool, but... I've already got a boyfriend, at the school where I have been hiding for a few weeks...'

Nevel sighed. 'Too bad. Who is it?'

I told Nevel about Dustin Brooks.

Nevel shrugged. 'He can be very happy. OK, I better respect that.'

I nodded solemnly.

Although Nevel was a bit said, he did not react with spite. 'Do you want to talk to your friends at the Pacific Coast Academy over my laptop?'

'Of course!' I smiled.

Nevel launched his laptop. 'Oh, news from icarlyDOTcom. They will have a new webcast tonight.'

I wanted to watch it. Then I connected to my mailbox.

There was a message from Dustin.

'Dear Megan, bad news. Zoey has found something in my laundry that belongs to you, the bracelet that you wore when you came to us. Now she's nagging me permanently about my "girlfriend". She fears that it's Melanie's. We need to be more careful. It's better you only address Wendy. By the way, Wendy has found that Toplin guy. She's going to report straight to Mandy. Talk to you later, your Dustin.'

Nevel read with me. 'Ouch, it must hurt you that Dustin has to hide you from that Zoey, whoever that is.'

I nodded. 'She's his elder sister. She isn't a bad girl, just easy to worry when it comes down to Dustin. And she distrusts Melanie to the death, although Melanie appears nice.'

Nevel sighed. 'Sorry!'

I also told Nevel about Zoey's room-mates, Quinn and Lola.

Nevel choked. 'Quinn?As in Quinndelyn Pensky, my half-sister?'

I was flabbergasted. 'Quinn is your what?' I was dazed.

Nevel sighed. 'Well, you know that my dad doesn't live with me, or mom. Really, he has married another woman, before meeting mom. And he is hiding us from his wife. I get along with Quinn, and vice versa, but woe to us if her mom figures that her dad has got an illegitimate son.' Nevel started weeping.

I sobbed. 'Oh, sorry!' _The world was so small, wasn't it?_ 'That sucks worse than boob germs.'

Nevel nodded solemnly. 'It does.'

* * *

Finally, we started watching the next session of _iCarly_.

Freddie failed his countddown, again.

I grunted: 'Say the one, boob!'

Nevel chuckled.

Carly and Sam were obviously annoyed by something.

It had to do with me and Melanie trading places with Carly and Sam.

Sam believed Carly to have gone gaga, as the latter claimed that they had been shopping, instead of having been in school.

Carly, in turn, pitied Sam for being so oblivious, as she had flunked her tutoring classes again.

Freddie moaned all the time. 'Girls!'

Nevel and I, we giggled insanely.

Thereupon, Carly reveiled that Mrs. Briggs had been missing out on an English lesson. 'We pupils abused this absense, in order to sneak out on school, and visit Groovy Smoothie. That was some gigatastic fun!'

Sam cheered. 'Unfortunately, Mrs. Briggs wasn't really happy, as there was only a cardboard sculpture of Ray N. D. Jackson at Gromedge Mall. Now we've got twice as much homework as usual.'

I chuckled. 'We need to deal harder with Mrs. Briggs.'

Nevel agreed. 'Too bad we can't arrange a real date with Mrs. Briggs and Ray N. D.'

I shrugged. 'Last year, Dustin had a roomie named Jack[14:1] Jackson. Unlikely, but possible that they are relasted?'

Nevel grinned. 'Let's investigate?'

I nodded solemnly.

* * *

**Chapter 15 News From Dad**

* * *

Nevel, inspite of being a total spaz, was more bearable than Ashley or Mandy.

Alas, playing oboe with him reminded sadly to my old orchestral group in San Diego, which I had to leave behind without warning when I took up my flight to PCA.

I figured that they were now mighty mad at me.

But there was no way back.

We looked up any news I got from Wendy.

Now, this one was interesting:

'Jack Jackson reported that his cousin True from New York City had confirmed our wild guess. Ray N. D. was actually a relative of Jack and True, a second cousin one remote, to be precise.'

I beamed. 'OK, now everything depends on that True Jackson girl. If she may talk her famous kindsman into meeting Mrs. Briggs, the wench will get what she deserves for her perversity.'

Nevel agreed. 'Oh yes, she will rue it, she shan't find any peace until dystopia!'

We started typind some instructions to Wendy, instructions that were to be passed by her to Jack, and then by Jack to True.

Things had turned very complicated.

But there was another message from Wendy, forwarded from Melanie Puckett, forwarded from Melissa Robinson...

'Hi Megan, I'm glad that you have already been able to cause some confusion between Carly and Sam. And I've got some news for you: Admiral Shay has been bound in a submarine[15:1] for many a month, but he's now going to enjoy some vacations, the whole June through, until Independence day. I don't know whether he is up to coming to Seattle for said vacations, but he would sure do so for some compelling reason. Tell me fast whether you want me to send him a message.'

I gasped. 'That sounds great.'

Nevel warned me. It would not be really efficient for you to fess up in a message. If he's not ready, he will just come up with an excuse for not visiting Seattle over the vacations, and your chance is gone for good.

I sighed. _Nevel was so right._ 'Probably... but should we rely on the possibility for him to come home without any reason?'

Nevel shook his head. 'Of course not. We need to give him a reason, but without making him believe that you're behind it.'

I nodded solemnly.

Mrs. Papperman coughed from the kitchen below. 'Nevel! Carly! I've just called Spencer...'

I was excited. _Had my trick using Crazy Steve's number worked out?_

She bounded in. 'Carly... since when is Spencer that aggressive? I have asked him nicely how long it will still take for the apartment to get repaired, and he just yelled at me like a psychopath. He was so nice'

I felt a violent throng to burst into laughter, but I was still able too hold on to my cool.

Nevel plastered a stoic face.

I shrugged. 'The current situation has made him turn all grumpy...'

Mrs. Papperman sighed. 'I understand. He is apparently very much attached to his loft.'

I nodded solemnly. 'He has always been attached to it, and that's why he failed at college.'

Mrs. Papperman nodded solemnly. 'OK, I have to try again some other day, whe he has calmed down.'

I agreed. 'Yeah, you should do that... definitely.'

Nevel smirked.

Mrs. Papperman walked away.

I sighed. 'Phew!'

Nevertheless, it was obvious that I could not hide all that much longer at Nevel.

I knew that it was only _time, time, time, time, until she found out._ _Oops, there I did it again, quote Drake's songs... No, , there was no way for me to miss Drake, there simply wasn't, plain and simple!_

Alas, there was something that gave me an idea.

Dad was certainly going to come for a visit if he believed that Spencer had turned into a psychopath, as did Nevel's mom.

Nevel nodded. 'We need to send him a video of Spencer going insane.'

I grinned. 'I've got some videos of Crazy Steve at the theatre he and Josh work for, where Steve yells at his fellow employees. The videos are somewhere on my old server of meganparker DOT com.'

Nevel smiled. 'Too bad, you only know that their voices are similar. Let's see what we can do...' He connected to my old. 'OK, where is the video?'

I checked in. 'There we go.'

Nevel beamed. 'Hey! Crazy Steve looks like Spencer with skinhead shave.'

I coughed. 'Wow, things are getting better.' _But... did that engender the possibility that Spencer and Crazy Steve were closely related? Oh, oh... which bee hive had I been sticking my index finger into?_

Nevel thought the same thing. 'Your family is getting bigger and bigger...'

I smiled. 'I'm not sure whether Drake will appreciate being related to Crazy Steve, but I know, without a trace of doubt, that Josh will hammer his head into a wall if he figures that much.'

Nevel smiled. 'Aw ... those boobs are so going to rue it! Until dystopia shan't they find any peace.'

I agreed solemnly.

Nevel hurried up. He downloaded the clip from meganparker DOT com, and he roasted a DVD. 'My laptop runs the latest version of Quinndoze QP, the best system ever. My half-sister has invented it.[15:2]'

I smiled. 'Aw, cool!'

Nevel nodded. 'Done!'

I smiled. 'Off to Missy, via Wendy and Melanie...!'

* * *

We were watching the webcast.

'Online in 5...4...3...2'

Carly announced that she was all excited, because her dad had announced to come home early June, staying until Independence day.

Sam added that Mrs. Briggs was totally crazed, as she had received a call from Ray N. D. Jackson, inviting her to New York City.

Carly smiled. 'One week without Mrs. Briggs!'

Sam triggered some fake applause.

I sighed with relief.

Nevel had some other news for me. 'OK, my school-mate Chuck Chambers, who lives in Bushwell Plaza...'

I was excited. 'That's where Carly lives?'

Nevel nodded. 'Correct! Well, he's able to host you in the basement of the Plaza, under a certain condition.'

My heart stopped.

_Hiding right below Carly, that would be cool, oh so cool!_ I gasped. 'What condition?'

Nevel grinned. 'Chuck wants a date with Melissa Robinson. He thinks that she's super-cool.'

I shrugged. 'OK, but he knows that Melissa won't return before next year's spring break?'

Nevel nodded. 'He can wait. He just needs her confirmation that she's intyerested.'

I wondered what could make a little boy like Chuck attracted to someone like Melissa. But I was soon going to get to know that they fit very nicely together, like fire and brimstone...

* * *

**Chapter 16 Bushwell Plaza**

* * *

So there was Bushwell Plaza...

Chuck and Nevel had chosen a day where Carly was on a field trip.

Chuck suggested me to pretend that "Carly" was back early from the trip, should I get asked.

I snuck past Lewbert.

A few seconds later, Lewbert found himself trapped in a fishnet in suspense from the ceiling, just as boob and boob.[16:1] had once gone through. And Lewbert deserved it so much more.

Chuck guided me to an area in the basement that was barely ever visited. He also gave me a large bottle of water, and some dry cookies that had to serve me as food, until I was able to sneak some fresh stuff.

That part of the basement was rather spacy, just rather dark and a bit moist, and not too warm, either.

Unlike Josh, I was not afraid of rats, should one of them have showed up.

* * *

In the evening, I snuck into the part of the building that was above the ground level.

According to Nevel's research, the Shays and the Bensons lived on the eighth floor.

I walked the staircase.

A woman around — 40 years old — crossed my way. 'Oh, carly, is Fredward already back?'

I guessed that she was Mrs. Benson, the mother of Freddie. 'Er... he is with Sam, having a smoothie over at Groovy Smoothie.'

The woman was consternated. 'What? With that loose girl? And there are so many germs in public restaurants of the lower class. And when do the Pucketts ever wash their hands before having something to eat or drink?'

I guessed that they never did. 'You're right. So don't forget to shower Freddie when he comes home, with all sorts of desinfection lotions! The Pucketts are prone for cockroaches and fleas. I've heard that there are special collars, soaked with pesticides...'

Mrs. Benson smiled. 'Yes, I will! I better go to the next pharmaceutic shop, and restock my supplies...' She disappeared.

I chuckled.

* * *

An hour later, I dared the impossible. I knocked at Spencer's door.

Spencer looked through the peephole. 'Carly!' He opened the door.

I didn't know whether he used to hug Carly at such occasions. So I decided to introduce this habit.

Spencer really looked like Crazy Steve with slightly longer hair. He smiled. 'You're back from your field trip?'

I nodded. 'The bus driver was drunk.'

Spencer choked. 'I have to complain at the next parents' reunion.'

I grinned solemnly.

Spencer shrugged. 'OK, baby, I've got to go to the chemshop in order to buy some more glue for my next sculpture. Don't touch it! Tomorrow, we will buy supplies for dad's visit.'

I whistled.'Why would I want to touch it? It's bad enough if you get it set on fire...'

Spencer scratched his head. 'True!' He waved at me, and off he was.

I took a look at his many sculptures. 'Cool!'

Unfortunately, some of them reminded me of Josh's half-baked artistic attempts.

I scrutinised a sculpture made of plastic bottles. Unnoticed, I exchanged a few protruding wires. Then, after sneaking some vegetables from the fridge, I walked upstairs, ready to see the attic where iCarly was produced.

There were two possibilities to reach the attic, as I had noticed in the show.

You could take the stairway or the elevator.

* * *

I grinned when I saw Freddie's professional-looking equipment.

A few things reminded me of all the stuff I had used in order to spy on the boobs, such as various micro cams.

Even the main monitor was quite similar.

I couldn't help switching a few buttons.

Then I heard voices from below.

Apparently, Carly, Freddie, and Sam were back.

I could not afford to be in the same room as Carly, so I had to hide somewhere.

Fortunately, only Freddie came upstairs. 'Carly? You've passed me? And you had the time to change your clothes?' He was totally confused.

I nodded. 'Yes, I did! Oh, and your mom said you should come home quickly. He has bought some new anti-bug-collar for you!' Noticing that Carly and Sam activated the elevator, I descended the staircase. _Phew! That was close._

* * *

I had barely left the Shay loft behind, when I heard Freddie and Carly arguing.

Poor Freddie must have thought he's insane. _How could Carly descend the staircase, but at the same time, arrive via elevator?_

Oops, Spencer returned from the chemshop. 'Hi!'

Spencer wondered, 'where are you going?'

I chuckled. 'I'm tutoring a new pupil at Ridgeway's.'

Spencer shrugged. 'Should I come with you? What if it's a spaz, like Nevel Papperman?'

I shook my head. 'No way! You better take care of your sculpture. It cries for you.'

Spencer grinned. 'Oh, yeah, it does!' He darted upstairs.

* * *

In the evening, Chuck visited me in my hideout in the basement.

I told him how I had fooled Lewbert, Mrs. Benson, Spencer, and Freddie.

Chuck smiled. 'Cool! You're one scoundrel.'

I nodded. 'I know.' I sighed deeply. In my mind, I went through the song _I Know_[16:2], another success by Drake. _Why, pray tell, did Drake's songs haunt me so much? Was it really impossible to get them out of my head, although the boob was about thousand miles away?_

Chuck told me that he had been able to contact Wendy at PCA.

There were some news.

Dustin had been asked by Quinn to go to prom ith him.

That was probably some trick Ashley had deviced, so that Quinn and Logan could hide their fake relationship for a few weeks more.

Logan was too embarassed to go straight to the public.

I hoped that Zoey was going to dissuade him from doing so. I asked Chuck to send Wendy a warning for Dustin, but I was not sure whether that message was going to arrive in time.

Alas, Wendy also had got some very bad news: Eric and Craig had had an argument over iCarly, and now Craig was likely to tell Drake...

I sensed trouble.

* * *

**Chapter 17 Caught**

* * *

It was only one day to go until the arrival of Mr. Shay.

Chuck Chambers told me that Carly really thought that Spencer had gone crazy, because he believed that Carly had been home early, while she didn't.

Freddie had the same opinion about his mother, but he wasn't any longer sure about his own mental sanity. He calculated forth and back how it was possible for Carly to go downstairs, and appear in the elevator just a few seconds later.

Sam accused Carly of having cheated.

Carly denied rigorously.

* * *

While the kids were away for school, I snuck into the stairway... again. Suddenly, I heard a set of too familiar footsteps. I turned around. I saw them: Drake and Josh. _Stay cool, Megan! The Boobs can't prove anything._

Drake yelled, 'Aw Megan!'

I stood face to face. 'Hey! Why do you call me Megan? I'm Carlotta Shay, and I live here.'

Josh grinned. 'Heh! We know that Carly lives here, and that she looks very similar to you.'

I tried to run away, buy I stumbled.

Drake laughed. 'I can prove that you are Megan.'

I replied. 'no, you can't, you boobs!' _Oh no, why, pray tell, did I have to say that? Only one girl in the world would have dared to call Drake and Josh like that._

Drake sighed. 'When you were very small, you had an accident that hurt your shoulder badly. It took me hours to soothe your wounds with salve. There's still a scar.'

I felt the spot on my shoulder. _Damn', he was right._ I lowered my head.

Josh grinned triumphantly. 'Your boobish brothers are not stupid!'

Drake rebuked Josh. 'OK, Megan, I guess your here for the same reason that we are. You've seen the web-show back at home, and you wanted to find the forgotten branch of our family, thus you ran away?'

I sighed. _Almost... he didn't know about my weeks at PCA. And that better stayed a secret, as it would have endangered Dustin, Scooter, and Wendy._ 'More or less...'

Drake nodded. 'Don't worry, we won't drag you back to mom on site. Mom hads been really mean to you. And she has lied to me, too, just in order to prevent us from wondering about dad. I knew that you had a twin, but mom told us that she died early on, and that it was all dad's fault, and that's why she left him. I had been quiet for years, and that's why mom wasn't that mean to me as she was to you. That's why I never asked, and I didn't tell you because it would have hurt you having lost a twin sister. But when Craig told me about the show, I wasn't stoppable any longer.'

Josh confirmed the whole of it.

I moaned. Then I told Drake about the upcoming visit of Mr. Shay.

Drake beamed. _Finally, Dad was back._ 'Great. We will tell dad how bad a mother Audrey has always been, then he'll go to court, and mom will lose her parental authority.'

Josh nodded. 'But someone needs to take care of you, and I doubt that Spencer will be able to...'

I shrugged. _Too true, after the pics of Crazy Steve... hell, did the boobs know that Steve and Spencer look alike?_

Josh asked me where I was living at the moment.

I whistled. 'I hide in Bushwell Plaza, and, if anyone sees me, I'm Carly...' _Mentioning Chuck was not necessary._

Drake giggled. 'Yeah, that looks like you. Now, believe it or not, we're lodging in a third-class hotel named _Parker-Nichols-Inn_.'

I coughed. 'Is that an accident?'

Josh shrugged. 'I don't believe so.'

Drake nodded. 'We have to get at the bottom of that.'

* * *

Drake, Josh, and I awaited dad in the foyer.

For the sake of security, I had locked Lewbert into a broom storage.

Dad arrived. 'Carly? Who are those guys?'

I told him that I'm Megan Parker, and this was his son Drake.

Josh introduced himnself.

Dad had a hard time believing that. 'Audrey told me that you two have died in an accident...' He hugged us.

I sighed. _Mom had lied her way up and down the East Coast._

Dad was eager on getting Audrey stripped of her parental custody. 'Your grandpa will come tonight, and, as a shark, he will inviate all the legal procedures.'

Drake made a suggestion. 'I know of a boarding school that is very cool. It's called the Pacific Coast Academy, near Malibu. I guess this is the right place for Megan. The school offered me a contract as an adviser, so I'll be near her, too.'

Dad sighed. 'Yeah, a boarding school would be a solution. And... PCA, you say? That's where your grandpa went to high school, but isn't it a boys-omly-school?'

I fainted. 'On the one hand, living at a boarding school with Dustin, and also Wendy, Scooter, and so on, would have been a dream, but then the whole cover was likely to get blown. Alas, if Drake went to work there, he was likely to meet my friends from there, anyways, wreaking havoc.'

Drake shook his head. 'The school went coeducative, like four years ago. In fact, I've given a concer there when it was opened four girls.' He blushed. 'And I'll play at their junior prom.'

Dad nodded. 'OK, I suggest we go there when you do so, so Megan and Carly will get to know thier new school.'

My heart beast faster.

Josh wanted to know about _Parker-Nichols-Inn_.[17:1]

Dad sighed. 'It's not an accident. The inn is co-owned by relatives of Audrey and Walter. They always wanted Walter and Audrey to marry, so a long twist was settled. I was apparently in their way. They did everything to break us apart, and to get Walter and Audrey together. Same they did to Walter and his first wife, Mrs. Puckett. Walter has left his wife and two toddling girls behind, so it is rumoured. The daughters must be slightly above Megan's age.'

Drake, Josh, and I, we sighed deeply.

I gasped. _Walter's daughters ... Melanie and Sam?_

Now we were finally going to face Carly.

* * *

**Chapter 18 Family Reunion**

* * *

The great moment was there.

I had to face Carly Shay.

My heart beat like a steam-driven sledge-hammer.

Dad knocked at the door.

Spencer opened for us. 'Hi dad!'

Josh's heart stood still. 'Crazy Steve?' He passed out.

I chuckled.

Drake had a hard time reanimating the big-headed twitcher.

Dad greeted Spencer and Carly. He tried mouth-to-mouth breathing, but he had got quite a few qualms.

I would have used some harsher method, but I wanted to see Drake sweat. 'Close your eyes, boob, and think of Josh as a cute girl!'

Drake shrugged. He placed his lips next to Josh's mouth.

Josh opened his eyes at whim, and he screamed like a fury.

Drake was disgusted when Josh did not behave like a girly girl, and he squealed in agony.

Josh was mad at Drake.

I grinned.

Dad introduced me to Spencer.

Spencer was dazed.

Carly stumbled downstairs. 'Spencer? Dad?' She sighed with terror when she saw me.

Dad chuckled. 'No, Carly, this is your twin Megan, you're not looking into a mirror!'

Carly squealed like a fury.

Seeing Drake made Carly even go more insane.

'Draaaaaaakeeeeee!' Apparently, Carly was a fan of Drake's. She jumped into Drake's arms, and passed out.

Drake shrugged. 'What shall we do with a drunken sister?'

Spencer commanded Drake to carry Carly into her room. 'It's upstairs, the one that isn't locked...'

Too late, Drake had just crashed into Spencer's room.

Spencer sighed. 'I've fetched that door from the junk yard...'

Dad shook his head, then he explained the situation. 'And that's why I think it's the best for Carly, and for Megan, to go to a boarding school in California, named _Pacific Coast Academy_.' Fortunately, he did not mention the picture of Crazy Steve. Dad had heard too many bad things about Spencer's lack of responsibility.

Suddenly, the door unlocked itself from the outside, and the chain was cut into half by a girl's bare hands.

Samantha stumbled in. 'The door was open...'

Spencer shrugged.

Drake came back, still carrying Carly in his arms. 'How often do I have to tell you, I cann't marry you, it would be a terrible crime.'

Carly didn't believe him. 'But I'm your fan!'

Drake shook his head. 'I've got thousands of fan girls.'

Carly didn't want to give up.

Dad shook his head. 'Drake is right, it would be a terrible crime, i.e. incest.'

Carly was flabbergasted.

Dad explained that Drake was her brother. 'So of course he can't merry you!'

Carly was totally dazed.

Sam coughed, while her eyes bugged out. 'So Carly has got a twin sister, too? Drake! You should marry me! I've got a life-sized blowup doll of you in my locker!'

Drake was disgusted, apparently he still remembered Wendy's obsessive crush.

Mrs. Benson and Freddie stumbled in. 'Oh, Mr. Shay!'

Freddie grunted.

His hair was full of tick lotion.

Dad and Mrs. Benson shook hands.

Freddie saw me. He was dizzy. 'Ah, that's it, Carly has got a doppelganger!'

Mrs. Benson shrugged. 'That explains everything...'

Freddie told dad what he had suffered because of getting us confused.

Drake intervened, 'Megan just likes pranking the unaware, I've got to suffer from that for many a year, but I've missed her , anyways, when she was gone. Don't care too much about it!'

I coughed. 'If you've missed me, will you please carry me upstairs? I'm tired!' I yawned.

Drake moaned. He took me on his arms, and he carried me upstairs, as he had done to Carly.

Still on the way, I heard Josh twitch and scream.

Sam held his ripped underpantie proudly in her hands.

Carly moaned. 'You can't strangers give wedgies...'

Sam grunted 'so what? It's poor quality fabric, and it stinks!' At whim, she flang the cotton scrap into Freddie's face.

Freddie coughed and choked for utter disgust.

I chuckled. _Strange man? What if my guess was correct, and they are siblings? The time to talk about that has not yet come._

Drake was now totally exhausted, and he sank onto Spencer's bed.

* * *

I had recovered from the exciting hour.

Drake had told Spencer and Carly that he was going to play at the prom of PCA. 'They wanted some other band...' He described the guys.

Spencer was flabbergasted, as he recognised them as the evil guys who had stolen his drum set.

Drake remarked that some cool guy named Dustin Brooks had deviced a plan to get the instruments back.

I blushed, but I managed to turn my face away before Drake could notice anything.

Josh promised to take pics from the prom night. 'And if you like them, you will join Megan to PCA, will you?'

Carly sighed deeply. 'I have to give up on a lot...'

Freddie and Sam were disappointed, too.

* * *

Alas returning to California was not going to be easy for me.

I had to face Melanie again.

How was she going to accept the news that Josh was potentially her older brother?

Also, I had to inform Chuck, Nevel, Missy, and Mandy.

All of their plans were now in a critical situation.

If Carly was to join PCA, she was away from Sam, but from Missy,too... except Missy joined PCA, as well, which was not a bad thing for some high military commander's daughter.

But then Chuck was not going to be able to date Missy, as he had wanted.

Nevel was eager on freeing his half-sister Quinn from the ferocious claws of that Logan Reese.

Mandy was probably going yupset if she missed out on the occasion of meeting the iCarly twins.

Maybe all of them should have joined PCA?

That was a strange dream, but maybe there was a chance...

* * *

**Chapter 19 Back To PCA**

* * *

So far, I had made two trips in the cargo space of a car:

the rather short trip from San Diego Belleview to Malibu, and the trip of one thousand miles from Malibu to Seattle.

Those experiences had not been exactly pleasant.

Now it was up to some others to go through the experience of making a similar trip.

I was going to sit in the car next to Drake.

Josh was forced to sit in the back of the car.

I was surprised when I saw the vehicle.

Drake had returned the car that he had received from Audrey upon his eighteenth birthday, and he switched back to the good old beetle that we had bought a year ago from second-hand car vendor Stan and his "friend" Bobo.[19:1].

I grinned, as it had been me who had chosen the car for Drake and Josh. Unbeknownst to the boobs, I had now been able to sneak Amanda Valdez into the cargo space of the old automobile.

Also, a second car was bound for California.

Miss Puckett, the mom of Samantha, was also bound for Malibu.

I thought that she was just going to visit her daughter Melanie.

But it turned out that there was another reason for her to go to California.

Her plastic surgeon, who operated in a cheap motel near Hollywood[19:2], was going to remove a few scrambles in her skin, by means of laser surgery.

Sam was forced to accompany her mother.

As in the case of Drake's car, I had been able to sneak someone into the cargo space:

It was nobody less than Sam's declared archenemy Nevel Papperman!

I wondered about the surgery _Alas, which reputable surgeon with credentials was going to operate in such a backstreet motel? The whole thing appeared to stiml from head to toe._ I remembered that Nevel had told me that Quinn had been practising with dangerous surgical tools since the age of 12, such as eye lasers [19:3]. I sensed something. _Was Quinn Pensky the mystery "surgeon" that was rigged and ready to perform some treatment on Mrs. Puckett?_ I had to find out...

Finally, Josh met Mrs. Puckett.

According to my theory, she was Josh's mom, but they had been apart for over a decade, hence she might not exactly remember what he looked like.

And, indeed, Josh glared briefly at Mrs. Puckett. 'I think I remember that woman vaguely, but from where...,' whispered he into Drake's ear.

Drake shrugged. 'Who cares?'

Josh gulped. 'Right, it doesn't matter.'

Drake nodded.

Also Mrs. Puckett had got a strange feeling.

* * *

A ride of thousand miles took us almost a whole day.

Finally, we arrived at _Come On!_ Inn, the cheap motel where Sam's mon was going to be taken apart.

I waited at the cars. 'Please check me in. I'm going to the café across the street,and I will wait there for you!'

Drake and Josh nodded. They were glad not to have me with them when they took care of the luggage.

Of course, I used the occasion in order to free Mandy and Nevel from their prisons.

We had checked the buses in advance, so we knew how to get Nevel and Mandy from there to PCA.

Mandy waved at us. 'See you on the campus!'

Alas, Nevel was eager to check whether the operating surgeon was really Quinn, as I had suspected. 'Mrs. Puckett is in good hands, if Quinn is going to cut her into tiny pieces.' He grinned enigmatically.

I snickered.

* * *

In the evening, I entered the lounge of the inn.

It was as dirty as I had imagined it. 'Eew, a cockroach. Drake, I need your guitar!'

Drake imagined that I used his instrument for squishing bugs. 'No way!'

I chuckled.

Josh asked when the surgeon was going to arrive.

Sam said that she had called Melanie, who was going to show up with the surgeon any other moment.

And there was the moment Sam had been talking about.

Melanie Puckett slouched in, followed by no other than Quinn Pensky.

I gasped. _What a mess..._

Nevel had been hiding between two tall plants. Now he jumped out on his hideout. 'Quinn!' He would never have dared to do that in Seattle, but this was California.

Quinn huggled her half-brother. 'Nevel, how do you come hereto?'

Nevel grinned. 'A long story...'

I chuckled.

Quinn shrugged helplessly. 'Let's talk later on... I have to do some important operation...'

Nevel nodded. He walked up to me. 'I can't tell her before the surgery, otherwise she'd mess it up.'

I nodded solemnly.

I told Josh that Quinn was a great future scientist.'She has invented many things...'

Josh went pale when I listed some of her achievements. He was totally envious.

I chuckled with glee. 'So, see if you can learn from her?'

My remark was more or less sarcastic, as he had never really learnt anything from Mindy, either.

Josh shrugged. 'OK, I may try...'

Drake was annoyed. 'Quinn is even weirder than the Creature...'

I nodded solemnly.

Drake complained a lot about the motel: Hobos, rats, rusty water taps... but without mom's credit card, which he had to return the day he decided to go and look for dad, it was no longer possible for him to afford a night in Chambrolay's.[19:4]

We better went to sleep soon, anyways, as the journey had made us deadly tired, and there was much to do at PCA.

* * *

**Chapter 20 On The Campus Again**

* * *

Quinn's surgery had been fairly succesful.

'I've only forgotten two pins in Ma Puckett's bones...,' boasted Quinn, betraying that she used to be even more sloppy than that.

I wondered whether that had been the reason for Ma Puckett looking like such a mess, making Sam scoff over and over with excessive disgust.

Whatever the reason, we entered our cars in order to make it to PCA...

* * *

When Drake halted the craft at the student drop, my heart cramped.

I was certainly looking forward to seeing quite a few pupils again, most of all, of course, Dustin Brooks, but I was aware of the danger of causing quite some trouble...

We left our cars.

Quinn sigghed. 'Sorry, but I have to meet someone special...'

It was clear that this "someone special" was nobody but Logan Reese.

But how to tell Quinn that she was just falling victim of a vicious plan by Ashley Blake?

I started to walk the campus avenue, accompanied by Drake and Josh.

Drake spotted Zoey Brooks from afar. 'Zoey! Huh,' yelled he at the top of his lungs. He was horrifying when he sang at that volume, but when he yelled without a decent tune, he sounded even worse.

I tried to poke Drake, but he jumped aside in order to yell even louder.

His noise made many pupils, especially the girls, alert.

'Drake!'

The sound of loose fangirls filled the campus.

Josh sighed. 'Couldn't you wait until prom night?'

Drake sighed, as he knew very well that Josh had been right, oh so right.

I grinned, although it was out of despair. Among the mass of girls, I even spotted that miserable wench of a dorm adviser, Coco Wexler.

She held a can of stinky, fly-attracting ravioli in her hand.

Her face was smeared with cheap ravioli sauce.

Josh should cook her some real ravioli sauce.

Oh, yeah, I had even been missing Josh's cooking expertise, although I was better than him when it came down to the cold kitchen.

Alas, something totally miraculous was about happening.

Although insane bra-throwing fangirls were about blocking virtually every way leading up to Drake, Zoey achieved getting closer and closer. She seemed to be highly respected by almost everyone on the campus.

Finally, Zoey reached us. 'Hi...'

Drake shook Zoey's hand. 'OK, this is my little sister Megan...'

I shook Zoey's hands. _What did she already know about me?_

Zoey nodded. 'OK, nice to see you. So, you've finally found her?'

Drake nodded. 'Yes, indeed, and I also found my dad, and my other little sister, Carly. They are twins. indeed.'

Zoey smiled. 'That is really cool! Let's go to our lounge!'

We nodded, and we followed Zoey.

I wondered whether the pupils thought that Drake and Zoey were now dating. _Drake was definitely not worthy of her. According to Dustin, Zoey wasn't a girl to be trashed after two weeks, those who tried to do do so were all going to rue it._

* * *

Finally, we were in the lounge.

Drake took his cellular phone. 'May I call two friends of mine, Craig and Eric?'

Zoey shrugged. 'OK, why not?'

Josh explained that they wanted to join in. 'They consider earning some money as tutors at this school, starting with next year. They are very smart.'

Drake warned Zoey that Craig and Eric were creepy freaks.

Zoey shrugged. 'Can't be worse than Firewire...'

I fainted. _Did the boobs know that Firewire had been the one to provide me with all the gadgets that I had used for several long years in order to torture them?_

Drake and Josh sighed. 'We don't know who or what Firewire is, but we're sure he can't be worse than Craig **and** Eric.'

Zoey chuckled. 'OK, we will see.'

Drake started calling the freaks.

Zoey grumbled. 'This reminds me that my roomies Quinn Pensky and Lola Martinez wanted to be here by now.'

Josh gasped. 'Hey, isn't Lola sort of an actress? I also work for a cinerma, so I sometimes see actors and actresses at announcements. I'm never invited to première parties, though!'

Drake grumbled. 'Hey, I need an actress for an upcoming music video, I've already signed a contract with some Gustavo Roque [20:1], big I'm allowed to choose my partners for the clip.'

Zoey chuckled. 'I'm sure that either Lola or Ashley Blake will be very much interested.'

Drake gasped. 'Ashley Blake? The arrogant diva?'

Zoey nodded. 'Arrogant she is, but brilliant in her ways...'

Drake moaned with dismay. 'Then I choose Lola any day...'

I remembered that, according to one of Wendy's messages, Lola was now dating Vince Blake. _That called for some serious amount of trouble..._

Zoey also missed Quinn. 'She wanted to come at the same time as you did, in fact, she had offered to fetch you from downtown LA. Have you seen her?'

Drake and Josh nodded solemnly. 'She was still with us when we entered the campus.'

Zoey sighed. 'So, where is she now?'

Drake and Josh shrugged helplessly.

I might have better kept my mouth shut, but I could not help it. 'She's making out with Logan Reese!'

Zoey was consternated. 'What?'

Drake and Josh looked aghast.

I explained Ashley's mean plan unto Zoey, not betraying _expressis verba_ where I had got that information from.

Zoey gasped. 'How do you know that?'

I stammered. 'Her half-brother Nevel has told me, and he used his brotherly intuition.' _Of course, really, nevel knew all that from me. Was the excuse with __brotherly intuition__ anywhere near plausible?_

Zoey moaned. 'OK, indeed, sometimes my little brother Dustin has got strange hunches about what is nagging me. I guess that's not quite unreasonable, although I better do my own rsearches. If true, it would be so scandalous, I can't tell you how much I could choke that incredible jerk.'

Josh giggled.

'You've got a brother,' asked I hypocritically.

Zoey nodded. 'Yeah, Dustin, he can be really sweet,...' admitted the blonde.

'I know,' replied I. _Oops, what had I just done?_ I fainted even more. 'I know that sisters should think this way about there brothers, even if certain brothers make it harder than others...' I coughed.

Zoey agreed. 'Oops, there's Lola!'

Lola squealed with excitement when Zoey told her about the music video. 'Hi, Drake, would we have to kiss in the video?'

Drake scratched his head, 'Maybe, why?'

Filled with disgust, I couldn't watch any longer.

Zoey announced that she was better going to look for Dustin. 'The poor baby has been depressed for a few weeks, like heart-broken he seems to miss someone badly. Do you want to come with me?'

I knew how dangerous that was, but I decided to do so, just to save myself from watching Drake and Lola practising for some music video.

On our way out, we bumped right into Craig and Eric.

Clumsy Eric Blonowitz wanted to show his friend Craig Ramirez a new martial move, when he unluckly punched us, knocking us out. 'Oops!'

We heard the lads in light approaching at high speed, then we passed out.

* * *

**Chapter 21 Seeing Dustin Again**

* * *

I recovered from my daze. 'Where am I?' It was apparently one dorm.

Drake was here. He sighed. 'Megan! Are you OK?'

I hoped so. 'Maybe?'

Drake told me that I was in Ashley Blake's dorm. He had no clue that I had been living in this room for over a week as a blind inhabitant.

I looked consternated.

Drake shrugged. 'Tonight, Ashley is going on a shooting event. She won't be here, so you and Samantha will stay here.'

I sighed with relief.

Samantha and Melanie bounded in. 'She's back!'

I grinned. 'Where is Zoey Brooks?'

Drake explained that she had been dragged to her own dorm by Lola and Quinn.

Finally, also Josh bounded in. He twitched like an idiot. 'Drake, why didn't you tell me that this was the girls' toilet?'

Sam and Melanie chuckled noisily.

Drake grinned with mischief.

Sam shrugged. With one hand, she gave Josh another wedgie, pulling his undies from his pants. 'Poor quality!'

Josh twitched and screamed. 'She did it again!'

Sam grinned. 'That was number five...'

Drake applauded.

I chuckled.

There were more noises from beyond the door.

I twitched when I recognised the voice.

Wendy opened the door from the outside, leading Dustin in.

I blushed to death.

Dustin bounced towards me like crazy, pulling me almost to the grou d in an embrace.

Drake was consternated. 'Dustin? Megan? What the...'

Josh gasped. 'Have you already known each other?'

We fainted.

It was no longer possible to deny it.

I stepped uo to Drake. 'Yes, I do know Dustin Brooks, and I love him.'

Dustin blushed furiously.

Drake almost passed out, but he was caught safely by Josh, and revitalised by Sam who rubbed Josh's undie into Drake's phase.

Drake threw up.

Josh grumbled. 'How do you know Dustin?'

I looked at Dustin.

He glared back, but he nodded. 'Tell'em!'

I sighed. 'OK, boobs, when I ran away from home, I hoped to find some support here at this school, as pupils from Seattle or close to Seattle were very likely to be found here...' I avoided mentioning Robbie Carmichael's significant contribution to my flight. Then I told them about how Dustin achieved hiding me, until Melanie helped me to get to Seattle.

Sam choked. 'Er... does that mean that you achieved fooling me in the tutorial afternoon? And Carly mistook Melanie for me?'

Melanie sighed deeply. 'You've got it...'

Sam giggled. 'Cool!'

Still, I was able to keep Missy Robinson's contribution to myself.

Drake looked at Dustin. _How could Megan like such a tiny puppy?_

I didn't need Drake's approval.

Alas, Drake appeared to think that a younger boyfriend was sort of harmless, compared to one of Corey's calibre.

I had to tell many thinks to Dustin.

_Melanie and Wendy have kep your arrival a secret, just in order to increase my sureprise,_ remarked Dustin.

I smiled. 'Cool!'

Alas, my highest priority, for the time being, was saving variopus pupils here from Ashley's intriguing cabals.

I wondered whether Nevel had achieved anything.

Nevel had disappeare from my sight soon after my arrival on the campus, probably in order to spy on Quinn and Logan, looking for the right moment to strike.

Dustin also told me that Zoey had neglected him a lot, and she had broken with James right before our arrival. He thought that Chase might now come back and would never get to know about Zoey's "adultery".

I wasn't sure. 'After my experiences with Corey, I would not like being in Chase's situation, and find out about Zoey's misbehaviour.'

Dustin nodded. 'Same thing made me trash Melanie, even after she had given up on Chase.'

Sam gasped when she heard my words about Melanie. 'Have you really done all that, sis?'

Josh had to separate the bickering twin-sisters, unaware of the great likelihood that they were **his** sisters.

Dustin announced that he had to look after Zoey. 'She might need me after the accidental punch by some freak!' And he had something more to tell me. 'Quinn wants me as her prom date.'

Drake choked hard.

Dustin explained that this is most likely Logan's trick in order to keep his disdignifying relationship with Quinn secret. 'The tide is high!'

I scratched my chin. 'OK, Dustin, feign that you did what Quinn wanted, just in order to be able to pull the trigger in the right moment, and tell Quinn about Logan's and Ashley's plan.'

Dustin agreed. 'Logan's prom date will be Stacey Dillsen, a lisping girl that is obsessed with coton swabs. I know that Logan hates her, so there is something fishy, and it stinks from Tartarus to Elysium and back.'

I promised to watch out.

* * *

I snuck out on the campus, seeing Craig and Eric. For security's sake, I stayed far enough from the freaks to avoid getting punched again.

Suddenly, a girl passed by, talking with a lispy voice at pupils who tried to avoid her.

Eric inadvertedly punched the girls' wrists, making her drop a family pack of cotton swabs.

Following Dustin's description, the girl must have been Stacey Dillsen.

Stacey started weeping when her swabs fell to the ground.

I jumped up to her, trying to calm her down. 'You're Stacey?'

Stacey nodded. 'Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott, Massachusetts.'

Her lisp was really penetrant.

Talking to her about Logan's and Ashley's plots she was involved in was going to be an excessive torture for me.

Stacey had apparently got a one-sided crush on Logan, which made her react hysterically.

I tried to be as patient as possible, which was not easy.

Eric figured that Stacey also carried a telescope. 'Do you watch stars?'

Stacey sighed. 'My telescope is my only friend. I like watching Saturn, because of the cute rings. But I also love Sirius, ...'

Eric beamed. 'Hey! Astronomy is one of my greatest hobbies. Do you want to come to the star observartory with me?'

Stacey beamed. 'Really? You would do that?'

Eric nodded solemnly.

Stacey beamed. 'Yeah! Finally a boy who loves star watching... Today, Saturn is supposed to rise in the east at sunset... and there night even be some shooting stars.'

Eric smiled. 'Let's watch all that!'

Craig was a bit disappointed, because his best friend was now most likely going to spend quite a few hours with a lisping fury he had just come to meet for the very first time.

I suggested Stacey and Eric to stay as long as possible watching stars. 'Don't care about Logan Reese, he isn't worth it, he hates cotton swab arts and astronomy!'

Stacey grinned. 'Logan who?' She waved at us.

I checked a list in my mind. 'One item down... Logan won't like this...'

Craig was consternated, fearing he was finally about losing Eric.

I grabbed Craig. 'Come on, if Eric finds a girlfriend, you may as well. It's almost prom night, so keep watching out for lonely girls that you may enchant with your folk songs.'

Craig sighed deeply.

I waved at Craig.

Finally, Nevel Papperman stumbled upon me. 'Megan! I've found Quinn and Logan...'

I was excited. 'OK, Nevel, what's going on?'

Nevel confirmed various rumours. 'Logan and Quinn really try to obscure their plots abusing other pupils as prom partners. When Logan was gone, I tried to tell some sense into Quinn, but I failed.' He stomped his feet. 'Even worse, a bitchy diva found me. She told me that I must have sent you, but that we won't get away with all that, and she was going to play her last trump.'

I was consternated. 'Ashley Blake... she's probably going to wreak some havoc.'

* * *

**Chapter 22 Before Prom**

* * *

Next morning, Dustin woke me up.

I wondered how he was able to sneak into the girls' dorms before breakfast.

Dustin explained that he ahd snuck through the backdoors and fire escapes.

'Cool!' I was so proud of the sweetie.

Dustin grinned. 'Breakfast time... do you want doodle cakes or jelly-filled donuts?'

I smiled.

Dustin's cellular phone rang.

Dustin picked it up. 'Dustin Brooks... Lola? What the... Oh nooooo...'

I urged Dustin to tell me.

Her sighed. 'Zoey is totally consternated... I better go and look after her...'

I nodded solemnly. _Would I have been there for Drake in such a situation? A few days ago, I could have denied it at whim, but things were more complicated by now._

Dustin told me to stay here. 'Enjoy breakfast! I'll see you for lunch, I hope...'

I sighed deeply. _It just had to be._

* * *

I had wondered how Drake was able to perform at the prom as a rock guitarist, while, at the same time, being Lola's prom partner.

Alas, I helped Drake getting dressed appropriately.

Josh sighed. 'Why does none of the girls here want a prom partner like me?' He twitched nervously.

I giggled. 'Because you're an uncool bighead?'

Drake nodded solemnly.

Josh sighed with despair.

Drake figured that I was very much worried about something.

I admitted that it had to do with Zoey's sudden depression.

Drake told me to join Dustin, and to look after Zoey. 'Good luck!'

I waved at the boobs. 'See you later!'

* * *

I entered 101 Brenner Hall, seeing Zioey weeping in total consternation.

Dustin sighed. 'Megs?'

I nodded. 'I think you need to be strong now, so I'd better be with you instead of getting Drake ready fro the prom. Where is Lola?'

Dustin sighed. 'She's more worried about her gown than about Zoey! And Quinn is with Logan, I suppose...'

I told Dustin about Nevel's conversation with Quinn. 'Nevel says it was in vain, but he may have effected something, given that it made Ashley totally nervous...'

Dustin sighed and explained, 'OK, Chase has called my sis during the night...'

I gasped. 'He won't come?'

Dustin moaned, 'if it were that simple, but some pretentious tweenie girl has sent him a call that Zoey has cheated on him, several times. Now Chase will come, as he has already paid for the ticket, but he hates Zoey and will do something very bad to her, or so I fear. He has also heard Logan in the background.'

Zoey nodded sadly.

I was now consternated. 'Hey, a pretentious tweenie girl? That must have been Ashley Blake! And informing Chase about James was her last trump...'

Dustin squealed with agony.

I coughed. 'How many more lives does she intend to destroy at whim?'

Dustin shrugged. 'Many?'

I nodded sadly.

Quinn stumbled in. 'Zoey?'

I galred at her. 'That's what your fine lover and his trulky beloved one have done to your best friend!'

Quinn glared aghast. 'Aw Logan! Do you really think that he has been fooling me for weeks?'

I nodded solemnly. 'It's all about money...'

Quinn wondered why I looked a lot like Paige Howard.

I had still not got any explanation for that.

Quinn shrugged. 'OK, it's all over with Logan... Sorry for having treated you like that, Zoey!'

Zoey nodded, but it didn't help her to feel much better.

I told Quinn that she could easily get over the thing withg Logan by helping Josh with his college assignment. 'You rock at those things...'

Quinn smiled. 'OK, sure, I'll make it there...'

I grinned. 'Maybe Josh was now going to find a girl to take to prom pretty soon?'

Quinn walked out on us.

We were now left alone with Zoey — again.

Both Dustin and I, we were clueless.

Craig Ramirez showed up. 'Sorry, Megan, Drake sent me your way... where is the girls' lounge?'

'Right across the hall,' replied I, 'but, before that, you have a job to perform...'

Craig shrugged.

I reminded Craig of his folk ballads. 'Maybe they can cheer her up? Her name is Zoey.'

Craig looked puzzled.

I unzipped my oboe. 'I'll back you up!'

Craig shrugged. 'OK!'

We started performing.

* * *

Early one morning  
Just as the sun was rising  
I heard Zoey sing  
In the valley below

Oh. don't deceive me  
Don't ever leave me  
How can you use  
Your poor Zoey soooo

* * *

Zoey listened up. She felt a lot more at ease. 'That's beautiful! You are?'

Craig sighed. 'I'm Craig Ramirez, one of Drake's friends.'

Zoey smiled. 'Ypu must be very charming...'

I chuckled mercilessly.

Craig sighed. 'Honestly... so far in my life, I had only one real friend, Eric Blonowitz. I could never imagine doing anything without him.'

Zoey was astonished. 'Wow!'

Craig moaned, 'Many have deemed us a gay couple, but we aren't.'

Zoey shrugged. 'Sorry!'

Craig continued, 'Now Eric has found a girlfriend named Stacey Dillsen, and I'm left all alone.'

Zoey shuddered. 'He ikes Stacey? Must be a hell of a dork...'

I grinned. 'You're so right...'

Craig nodded. 'But now Eric is leading Stacey to the prom, and I don't know what to do...'

Zoey had got an idea. 'Hey, we could go to prom together, and we will teach them all some lesson...'

Craig smiled. 'That sounds cool!'

I high-fived with Dustin. 'Seems the depression is already gone...'

Dustin nodded solemnly. 'That was supercool!'

* * *

I strolled tha campus, accompanied by Dustin. 'I still fear bad things ahead, when Chase comes...'

Dustin nodded. 'We must be very careful.'

Suddenly, an old friend passed by, right in front of my eyes. 'Addie!'

Addie Singer turned around. 'Megan! Long time no see!' She explained that she was here with her brother who was going to sell smoothies at the prom.

I sighed. 'I think it's not a good idea for most pupils to turn thirsty during prom...'

Addie chuckled with agreement. 'Maybe I will enroll at this school.'

I cheered. 'Cool, I might do the same.'

We high-fived.

Dustin invited the two of us girls for lunch.

Alas, from the corner of my eyes, I spotted Mindy Crenshaw. _What was she doing here? It can't be much good!_

* * *

**Chapter 23 The Prom Night**

* * *

Some middle school kids were working as service staff at prom night.

I, of course, had been too late to apply. I sighed, as I would have loved to spy on the boobs and the other participants.

Dustin was one of the service boys. He had been hired by Kazu, the owner of the sushi bar next corner, to deliver sushi chops to the hungry kids.

Zoey Brooks, for example, was downright addicted to tempura rolls.[23:1].

Alas, being excluded had its advantages as well.

I needed to spy on others who were out on the campus, and I needed to catch Chase Matthews.

Addie caught me. 'May I join you? I'm a bit bored, because Ben did not allow me rto help him with the smoothies at prom night. He thinks that I would mess up with everything. He sentenced me to wait here out on the campus for a fruit delivery car taht should arrive in some hour.'

I giggled. 'He isn't quite unreasonable, is he?.'

Addie pouted, thundering 'What?'

I giggled.

Addie grabbed my collar. 'That's not true!'

I whistled. 'Oh, it isn't? But you may join me, anyways.'

Addie glared aghast, but then she followed me around.

I looked at a picture I had hidden in one of my pockets.

Addie giggled. 'Your boyfriend?'

I laaughed heartily. 'That bushy scalp? No way! It's a boy who is expected to arrive on campus tonight, and who might wreak a bunch of havoc, so I'm expected to catch him before it's too late. His name is Chase Bartholomew Matthews.' I had to tell her the long story.

Addie nodded. 'OK, I'm not scared by the shrubbery, so I may help you.'

I smiled. 'OK, take a etailed look at the picture, so you will recognise him.'

Addie studied the photograph in detailed. 'I guess I will even recognise him should he have turned bald,' remarked Addie, giggling insanely.

I shrugged.

We walked on, coming to a wall.

Addie gasped. 'There's Matthews!'

I was shocked. 'You're right!' _She had instinctively recognised him from the corner of her eyes._

We walked up to the poor lad who sat on the edge of a wall, sobbing sadly.

I giggled.

Addie dared to sit next to him. 'Bartholomew?'

Chase gasped, apparently not accustomed to be referred to by his middle name. 'Er, yeah... you are?'

Addie smiled. 'My name is Addie Singer. Some tweeding bird told me that you have come from London with a broken heart.'

Chase nodded sadly.

Addie confessed that she had recently been cheated on by Jake Behari, her ex-boyfriend, as well. 'It's a hard experience, I know.'

Chase sobbed even more. 'Too true... I could write a long poem about it...'

Addie gasped. 'You're a poet? My favourite is Edgar Allen Poe.'

Chase smiled. 'Not bad... I'm indeed sort of a poet, my favourite is Milton, though.'

Addie nodded. 'I like to write little song texts. Then I try to play them with my guitar.'

Chase gasped, 'I've got a guitar, too, and I use it to perform my poems, but the composition of the song is down to my friend Michael, if he ever was a friendm, for a really good friend would have told me about Zoey cheating on me right away, instead of waiting until...' He started weeping.

Addie comforted him. 'Composition isn't my strength either. Maybe we can teach us mutually what we don't know, somewhere in some dark and silent corner?' She blushed furiously.

Chase nodded solemnly. 'Maybe we should.'

Addie begged me to send her an SMS, should I spot the smoothie van. 'The word _Juice_ is written all over it, and various fruits are depicted.'

I nodded solemnly. _How good for them. Chase was now unlikely to cause a bunch of trouble. And Addie deserved him thoroughly._ I kept on walking.

My cellular phone rang.

I picked it up. 'Megan Parker...'

It was Dustin. He gave me a brief reposrt about the activities on the dancing floor.'Zoey is alright, she enjoys dancing by Craig's side, although he can't really dance.'

I nodded. 'It's good for Craig to get somewhat away from Eric... '

Dustin remarked that Eric and Stacey were most fun to watch.

I was particularly interested in the behaviour of the boobs.

Dustin told me that they were OK. 'Quinn and Josh are truly like made for each other. And Drake and Lola... you know. I don't want to mention the details. Too loveydovey.'

I sighed. 'Correct, sweetie!'

Dustin told me that he was now sending Wendy over to Kazu, in order to fetch more sushi.

I smiled. 'That's cool!' I hadn't seen Wendy much since my return from Seattle.

And there she was. 'That Mandy Valdez girl is a really annoying stalker!'

'Says who,' replied I, in virtue of the way she had stalked Drake like four years ago.

Wendy pouted.

Michael Barret, the friend of Chase, stormed out at the same time. 'Is Chase really here? I've heard rumours...'

I giggled. 'I don't think he appreciates being bothered.'

Michael squealed with dismay. 'Oh no! I'm sure he hates me now for not having told him earlier...'

I nodded. 'But he might be over it.'

Michael shrugged. 'Maybe, but my girlfriend Lisa is about trashing me.'

I wondered why.

He told me some story about a certain Mr. Takato, a middle school teacher who had just taught him driving a stick car. 'But there's no proof for Takato to exist, and Lisa hates me now for making things up. But I don't!'

I sighed. 'Hey, what about a new girlfriend?' I looked briefly at Wendy. 'That should punish Lisa duely for her lack of faith.'

Michael and Wendy glared at each other. They understood it as a funny trick, unaware of the fact that they were soon going serious about all that. 'OK!'

Michael promised to help Wendy to fetch the sushi from Kazu's.

I waved at them, and then I walked on.

After a few yards, I noticed the gang of Firewire.

Wayne Gilbert aka Firewire was desperately chasing for a prom date in last minute.

I ducked out of their way, preventing them from hitting on me. _Freaks... they were worse than Craig and Eric!_

And there she was again: Mindy Crenshaw.

Firewire tried to hit on here, cackling manically. 'The end is near!'

Mindy sighed. 'OK, guys, I think we should work together. Do you know some Zoey Brooks?'

Firewire cackled with glee.

Mindy nodded. 'It's payback time. She had once destroyed my business, like, four years ago. I've sold backpacks she had designed, and she refused to acknowlewdge my superiority.'[23:2]

Firewire grinned. 'Cool! Payback time!'

Mindy grinned. 'Unfortunately, my last attempt of a payback had been a complete failure. I had cloned the little step-sister of my former fiancé, and sent her, with a microchip in her ear, to this school, under a fake name, in order to blow this campus up, using my latest invention, the universal power plant. Too bad that clone girl had got a conscience, unlike the dumb original.'

I could hardly contrrol myself when I heard those words. _So... Paige Howard was essentially Mindy's work, a clone of me she had constructed and used in order to retaliate against Zoey Brooks._ I achieved sneaking away and sending an SMS to Dustin, warning him dearly.

Finally, the van arrived.

With my last force, I achieved notifying Addie, before I passed out.

* * *

**Chapter 24 Conclusions**

* * *

I woke up almost next noon.

Drake and Dustin were standing right beside me.

Drake sighed with relief. 'Finally! Megs? Are you OK?'

I was still a bit dazed. 'I'm cool, boob!'

Dustin smiled.

Drake told me that Dustin had been waking beside me all night long.

Wendy and Melanie had been worried, too.

Drake told me that he had seen Addie on the campus. I nodded solemnly.

Drake grinned. 'That's cool. She has decided to follow Chase back to LOndon and go to that boarding school named Covington.'

I sighed. 'It will be hard for her, but I know how much she loves London and Paris, so it's not much of a surprise.'

Drake nodded.

'So, how had prom been for you and Lola?'

Drake smiled. 'Nice, I've played my best songs, such as _Makes me Happy_, with Lola snuggling on my lap.'

I giggled.

Drake also remarked that they had mouthfed each other with sushi during the breaks. 'Dustin and Wendy took pics, now they send them to Carly for the web show.'

Dustin grinned merrily. 'Along with good news for Spencer. Some other school had hired the band of Blake, Dirk, and Suzée, but they still needed a bass guitar. Drake has left his substitute guitar seemingly unsupervised in the backstage closet... but there was a net trap...'

Drake nodded, 'Dustin's idea... same construct as your net traps, though.'

I huggled Dustin. 'I'm so proud of you! You've caught the drum set thieves... I wonder what happened to their own bass guitar...'

Drake and Dustin whistled innocently.

I knew that they had been responsible for something.

Dustin admitted that they had distorted the accoustic of athe guitar with a trick he had learned from Fredward Benson.

I grinned. 'Fantastic! You learn fast!'

Alas, there was one thing that had worried me most, and that was Mindy Crenshaw.

And I did not have to ask.

Drake told me about Quinn's and Josh's performance at the prom night. 'Josh twitched like a dead fish when he danced with Quinn, but she reacted totally cool — all the time — even when the creature showed up, assisted by some freak, and yelled around that Zoey had once belched and tooted in church.'[24:1]

I gagged.

Dustin added, 'it was no intention, I swear.'

I huggled Dustin. 'Certainly, but what did the other pupils do?' I knew much more embarassing things about Drake and Josh, of course.

Drake snickered. 'Dustin threw a piece of rotten sushi at Mindy. She started to puke, right on the shoes of someone named Firewire.'

I laughed my butt off.

Dustin grinned. 'I had expected the disturbing dorkette, and I had told Wendy to grab some rotten fish from Kazu's...'

Wendy snickered like crazy.

Finally, also annoying Mandy came in. 'Hi, look, do you want to watch me and Robbie perform the new, improved version of the duck dance?'

It would have annoyed me, but Drake's report about the prom night had been so much fun, not even mandy's and Robbie's duck dance had been able to rain on my parade.

* * *

Finally, Sam and Carly had figured that Melanie and I had tried to get them apart, on Missy's behalf, but Missy did not mind anymore, as she was about moving to PCA, along with Chuck Chambers.

Freddie, Sam, and Carly joined them.

Drake got a job as an adviser of PCA school band.

Josh enrolled for tutoring high-school kids at PCA in science. He had sucked at elementary school, but high-school was quite different, and nobody could prepare pupils better for SAT tests than Joshieboob. Alas, he wasn't aware of the fact that I had ordered Quinn to take some DNA sample off him while they were dancing narrowly all prom night long...

Quinn was now busy comparing Josh's DNA with that of Mrs. Puckett, the mom of Samantha and Melanie.

* * *

Quinn stumbled in, dragging Josh behind.

Josh didn't understand why Quinn was so pushy by now.

Quinn sighed. 'OK... Melanie, where is Sam?'

Melanie sighed. 'She has eaten all the remainders from the prom buffet, now she suffers from fatal gastritis...'

Quinn sighed. 'Dern... it's important family news for her, too.'

Melanie grinned. 'Wow, did you discover that I'm not related to Sam? That would be wonderful!'

I chuckled.

Quinn shook her head. 'Er... not exactly... rather...' She explained what she had done. 'And comparing Josh's and Walter Nichols's DNA with that of Ma Puckett, which I excerpted during my last surgery...' She breathed deeply. 'OK, let me make it short... Ma Puckett is the mom of Joshuah Nichols.'

Josh twitched like a dead tuna in Kazu's kitchen. 'What? What? What?'

Quinn grinned. 'Yes, sweetie, I've found your mom again.'

Josh's eyes bugged out.

Melanie coughed and moaned, 'So... Joshie is my bro?'

Quinn nodded.

Melanie threw her arms around Josh. 'Cool... I've got a big brother... even if it's a totally uncool big-headed one.'

Josh twitched.

Drake and I, we giggled like crazy.

When Sam heard the news, her gastritis disappeared. 'Brothers are there for wedgiiiiies!'

Josh tried to get away as far as possible.

I laughed at the top of my lungs.

* * *

Carly was going to be consternated. _So... Sam had been her step-sister all the time? Cool._

After all, I had to return to San Diego Belleview for the summer, until I was officially a PCA pupil.

Drake insinuated that next time I wanted to run away, he was going to come with me.

Audrey was so shocked by all the events, she was going to be sent straight into rehab, because she freaked out every other second.

Walter finally left Audrey in order to be with Coco Wexler, our dorm adviser, as she was not opposed to him sipping from laundry sewage.[24:2]

I had to redo eighth grade, as I had been missing out on classes for several weeks without excuse, but this was not all that bad, as I was now going to be in the very same classes as Dustin.

_Parker-Nichols-Inn_? Drake, Josh, Carly, Sam, Melanie, and I, we started running it together once we were done with school.

Freddie had also found Toplin Wheeler, and, according to Quinn's results, they were monocygotic twins, too!

Thus Manddy had finally completed her quest of gathering the twins of the _iCarly_ crew.

Alas, what was going to happen once Spencer had figured that Crazy Steve was related to him?

Awwwww!

_**The End**_

* * *

** 1:1**:

* * *

allusion to a song _The Getaway_ by Chris De Burgh which I don't own.

**1:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Treehouse_

**1:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Spring Fling_

**2:1**:

* * *

M. Evans portrays both Robbie Carmichael and a certain Scooter who appears as Dustin's friend in _Zoey 101_ : _Favor Chain_

**2:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Quarantine_

**2:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_

**2:4**:

* * *

from _Drake & Josh_ : _Megan's New Teacher_, same actress as Sandy Baldwin

**2:5**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Little Diva_

**2:6**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Great Vince Blake_

**3:1**:

* * *

mentioned in various episodes of the final season, with a cameo appearance in _Drake & Josh_ : _Megan's First Kiss_

**3:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Megan's First Kiss_

**3:3**:

* * *

mentioned in _Drake & Josh_ : _Gary Grill_

**3:4**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _I Love Sushi_

**4:1**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Steered Straight_

**4:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Number One Fan_ — family name is taken from _Camp Rock_ which I don't own either

**4:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_

**4:4**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Honor Council_

**4:5**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Honor Council_ — surname is taken from _Unfabulous_ which I don't own, either

**4:6**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_ that Wendy was not portrayed

**5:1**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _I Love Sushi_

**5:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey's Tutor_

**5:3**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Drake And Josh Go Hollywood_

**6:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Walkathon_

**7:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey's Tutor_

**7:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Logan Gets Cut Off_

**7:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Wrestling_

**7:4**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Great Vince Blake_

**8:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Chasing Zoey_, _iCarly_ : _iAm Your Biggest Fan_

**9:1**:

* * *

_iCarly_ : _iScream On Halloween_

**9:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _I Love Sushi_

**9:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Logan Gets Cut Off_ - there's also a Disney show _Latest Buzz_, which I don't own either. .

**9:4**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Mindy Loves Josh_

**9:5**:

* * *

cf. _iCarly_ : _iHurt Lewbert_

**9:6**:

* * *

cf. _iCarly_ : _iAm Your Biggest Fan_

**10:1**:

* * *

allusion to _Only Time_, a song by Drake Bell which I don't own

**11:1**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Battle Of Panthatar_, he's anonymous in the episode, but named in the credits. Him being the little brother of Thornton Wheeler is mere speculation

**13:1**:

* * *

cf. _iCarly_ : _iSpy A Mean Teacher_ here slightly spoofed, in order to distinguish him from some real-existing Ray N. D. Jackson .

**13:2**:

* * *

cf. _iCarly_ : _iRock The Votes_

**13:3**:

* * *

cf. _iCarly_ : _i Rue The Day_

**14:1**:

* * *

Dustin's friend in _Zoey 101_: _Pilot_ and some more

**15:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_: _iWant To Stay With Spencer_

**15:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_: _Favor Chain_

**16:1**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _I Love Sushi_

**16:2**:

* * *

song by Drake Bell which I don't own

**17:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWant To Stay With Spencer_

**19:1**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Dinner With Bobo_

**19:2**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iTake On Dingo_

**19:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Trading Places_

**19:4**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Drake and Josh go Hollywood_

**20:1**:

* * *

from _Big Time Rush_ which I don't own

**23:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _People Auction_

**23:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Backpack_

**24:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Webcam_

**24:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Helicopter_


End file.
